“Claire, you lost your virginity to a Jewel song!?” Don’t feel bad, my special moment was to the first 31 seconds of Big Pimpin’.
“If we wanna leave her party, say the words, I’M SUPER DRUNK.” This might get confusing as you’re actually getting “super drunk.”
“I had the hottest video chat sesh with the French guy last night!” Pierre?! I knew I shouldn’t have gone bowling!
“I’m actually kinda depressed I was never on The Hills.” I won’t sit idly and watch you give up on your dreams. The Jersey Shore?
“I bet this Arnold Palmer guy named a drink after himself just to be a celebrity?” Now he can retire & take up a sport like golf.