“For the lotto I picked the jersey numbers of the soccer players I hooked up with in high school!” You’re only allowed 6 numbers…
(at 2AM) “Were we even born when the world was 8 days a week?” Ladies, time to turn off The Beatles and get some sleep.
(singing) “Never mind, I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but a really good poo.” Should I sing backup from the toilet?
“I’m beyond excited to see Hunger Games! I can finally pretend like I read the book.” I KNEW you never read Precious!
“Oh my God, do you think that a long time ago the world used to be in black and white?” Yes, color came when you two were born.