Dear Girls Above Me,

“It’s racist to wear black face paint on Halloween? We gotta rethink our Oprah and Gayle costumes.” Just say you’re Snooki and Jwoww.

Dear Girls Above Me,

“I regret making my therapist a mix CD for her Birthday. She’s gonna over analyze that Eminem song.” You DO have similar mom issues.

Dear Girls Above Me,

“I dropped my cell in the dumpster again! Should I ask that guy for help?” If I shaved would you stop asking me to dig through trash?

Dear Girls Above Me,

My mom stopped by and I had to SHUSH her so I could hear all about “Jen’s new tatas.” She headed for the door…I didn’t stop her.

Dear Girls Above Me,

“The rain is like two swords; it makes my nipples look great, but it also makes my hair look like death.” Double edged sword?