Dear Girls Above Me,

Tonight’s my “GAM listening social.” Im like a proud dad going to his daughter’s first violin recital. Dont fuck this up for me.

Dear Girls Above Me,

Just as a friendly reminder, Im pretty sure you guys are both due for a “vajayjay wax”. God, Im such a good neighbor.

Dear Girls Above Me,

“I seriously think Im adopted. My mom has legit DD’s and Im only a small C.” I would start by making sure mom’s are “legit”.

Dear Girls Above Me,

This morning at Starbucks I was able to actively participate in a conversation about Longo’s lip & cheek hydro stick. Thank you.

Dear Girls Above Me,

I named him Lance. We stayed awake till morning discussing Chaucer & places to throw up. BEST PARTY EVA.

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