“The world has til tonight to come to an end. I knew it was all bullshit!” Is there a movie called “2011” I don’t know about?
“Supposedly if you get wasted the night before New Years, your hangover isn’t as bad on New Years.” Words from a true alcoholic.
“I don’t understand weather talk, but it says there’s a 10% chance it’s going to rain on New Years. Is that high?” Are you high?
“I’m returning all presents from my mom, not because I don’t like them, but because she just assumed I’m a size 4.” But you are…
“Christmas tree lights on or off while we’re out of town? I say off. No idea why.” Thanks for accidentally saving my life.