Dear Girls Above Me,

I think u caught me singing passionately in the shower. So I had a “you moment”? Thats embarrassing.

Dear Girls Above Me,

I had a dream u took my mother on a Club Med vacation & y’all became “soul sistas”. How dare u take her to Club Med.

Dear Girls Above Me,

Impressed when u said “I wanna help Haiti money donations” til I realized u said “I wanna help Heidi Montag’s doctor.”

Dear Girls Above Me,

The louder u play Shakira, the louder I play Moby. Dont care u think I “must be gay”, I found your kryptonite.

Dear Girls Above Me,

Sorry about ur fight but nice discovery: “being on the same moon cycle makes us soul sisters & nasty bitches.”