“Hey Olympic website, stop being so annoying and just tell me when David Beckham is swimming!” I think you’re confusing your abs.
“So the ‘right to bear arms’ has nothing to do with acting like you’re a bear?” No, but it totally should.
“Oh my G-string, has anyone named their baby Chardonnay yet?!” I think you could be the first alcoholic to claim it!
“How can my mom expect me to find a job while things are so unresolved with TomKat?” Ask Siri.