Dear Girls Above Me,

“I’ve had a horrible day and now I gotta learn this new Facebook timeline?! Life is out to get me!” Apparently so is the internet.

Dear Girls Above Me,

(singing) “The answer my friend, is blow jobs in the wind, the answer is blow jobs in the wind.” So I see you figured it out.

Dear Girls Above Me,

“That whore! What a slut! Whore, slut, whore, with a slutty whore face!” Want me to keep a whore to slut tally?

Dear Girls Above Me,

“Do you think I could ever win an Emmy for just loving Grey’s Anatomy so much?” No I don’t.

Dear Girls Above Me,

“Let’s just say she’s not the sharpest pool in the shed.” To be fair you’re not exactly the sharpest wife in the drawer either.