Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“The rain is like two swords; it makes my nipples look great, but it also makes my hair look like death.” Double edged sword?

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  1. Beth says:

    Oh. My. Sweet. Jesus. I pray for my gender because of them.

  2. moondog says:

    I hope I’m not the only girl who pictures darth maul’s light saber when thinking of a double edged sword. Only then can I restore my faith in my gender.

  3. Beccah says:

    First image in my mind was two solid deluges of rain stabbing her. That’s what “like two swords” means to me: stabby.

  4. Bertie says:

    How does the rain make her nipples look good?

  5. Aimee- WTF! says:

    Have these girls ever met a metaphor they actually understand?

    • Rob says:

      Only the hammer that hit them square on the forehead, or the snake that bit them right on the nose.

  6. Maddie says:

    Yes! A metaphor! *claps*

  7. Wenderbread says:

    Lmfao. They make me almost want to start using that phrase. “It’s like two swords.” xD But seeing as how I’m a blonde female, I think my plan would just backfire.

  8. YouSirAreAnIdiot says:


  9. Nick says:

    Hey, at least they’re trying. xD

  10. Whocares says:

    The sad thing is that i can actually relate to this :(

  11. FindingNemo says:

    …PLEASE dont use the word sword and nipples in the same sentence ever again. EVER… :(

  12. mike says:

    if her nipples look good enough whos looking at her hair?

  13. Kate Barlow says:

    The sad thing is she probably thought she was a making a deep, profound statement.

  14. Cami says:


  15. Camila says:

    This totally made my day so much better. Instead of reaching for the jar of nutella when I’m stressed, I’ll come here and laugh.

  16. Niki says:

    When I read “two swords” all I could think of was a violent image of her nipples and hair sliced off…ow.

  17. Becca says:

    nope, Charlie, I totally think the expression is two swords. hahahahahahahhaha :)

  18. Melissa says:

    Don’t mean to sound like a literary nerd, but “double edged sword” is actually an idiomatic expression. :)

  19. Teresa says:

    Although her idiom is confused… her logic is solid, you can’t argue with mother nature. The rain does make them hard and you’re hair go crazy. Still there are somethings better left not said. I fear this is that something.

  20. Lizzie says:

    I have had the worst day i have had in a long time, and this made my day a little sunnier after the los angeles rain. thank you charlie, for making my day a little happier :)

  21. Alex says:

    Just when I think that there is nothing left in this world to face-palm to, these girls come in and restore my faith in the endless depths of human stupidity.

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  24. MariaMaria says:

    but anyways- doesn’t a double edged sword imply 2 crappy things happening? as in getting doubly stabbed. great rain nipples don’t count as a tragedy unless there’s no one there to see them…

    • londo says:

      No. A double edge sword is usually something that has its upside and downside ( think of it as if you were hitting someone and hurt yourself in the process due to the blade being sharp on both edges)

  25. Christa says:

    Improvement! They’re getting into old sayings…again, though…accuracy needs some work.

  26. Annabelle says:

    They need to find cold- it makes nipples look good, but the hair still looks great :P

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