“If I eat half of the fries and then I bite those in half with only a little salt, will I get fat?” Your version of the SAT’s?

“She was totally bragging about changing a flat tire. Who cares, that’s why they invented AA.” Pretty sure you’re missing an A.

“She said I’m way too PC! Umm, excuse me, but I’ve ALWAYS been a Mac girl.” I’m sure your iPhone has a politically correct app.

“Claire, I need some toilet paper NOW!” Umm, Claire just left…I would help but I’m not gonna blow my cover for a number one.

“Okay, you buy the alcohol and a flare gun and I’ll let everyone know what time to look into the sky!” There’s also Evite.