Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
May

16

“We need to talk.”  Uh oh, are you guys okay?  “Did you switch over to iced coffee without telling me?”  That bitch!

May

13

I’m proud of myself for knowing that when you say, “Totes that tote,” you’re really saying, “Yes, good choice in handbag.”

May

12

“I got a ticket for parking in front of a fire hydrant, but it was after 6pm!” What? Fires don’t need to be put out at night!

May

11

“How much did that gluten stuff in food cost before they made it free?” Oh man, you don’t even wanna know.

May

10

Your tips on “how to look sexy on an elliptical machine,” got me the phone number of a 58 year old named Hans. Did I do it right?

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