Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
May

24

“Oprah, come back!!! What do we do now?” Get a job. “Start watching The View?” Get a job. “Dr. Phil?” Get a– Okay fine, Dr. Phil.

May

23

“What if the world actually did end and we’re painting our nails in heaven right now?” Then I’m the devil sitting on a toilet.

May

20

“No joke, I’m never drinking again–Wait, is Jen’s party tonight?! Next week I’m never drinking again.” A quote from every Friday.

May

19

“Wait, so does the myth apply to dogs as well?” It sure does.

May

18

“Arnold wouldn’t be in this situation if he had his maid hasta la vista the baby.” Instead he said, “I’ll be back…in ten years.”

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