Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
May

10

Your tips on “how to look sexy on an elliptical machine,” got me the phone number of a 58 year old named Hans. Did I do it right?

46 Responses

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  1. Sina says:

    HAHA FIRST COmment :DD

  2. Sina says:

    Also WTF??

  3. Sophie says:

    wow haha. I wanna hear those tips! lol

  4. Charlie McDowell says:

    According to them it’s all the way you “move your butt.” Oh, Hans makes more sense now.

    • Leila says:

      BAHAHAHAHA!! This cracks me up so much!! :) Thanks for the laugh. Work has been terrible, but this perked it up a bit. :)

    • Mephistopheles says:

      What the hell happened? One year your laughing at the girls now you laugh with them, you should probably man up and sell.
      On second thoughts please don’t.

    • Alex says:

      And you’re not even a little bit concerned that a 58 year old was looking at your ass?

  5. Jamie Lynn says:

    Well, if it worked for you Charlie maybe it’ll work for me. Although I hope I don’t get a creepy guy’s phone number. lol

  6. Lieric says:

    creeppppppy

  7. Miles says:

    A key part they probably just assumed as common knowledge – you must be wearing super tight designer yoga pants that give a camel toe….

    I’m so glad I don’t try to look sexy at the gym.

  8. Jacky Faber: Midshipman, Fine Lady, and Lily of the West says:

    Eww…referring to the above…camel toe is so uncomfortable I would not be able to workout with that. Ugh, it’s disgusting and unappealing. Soccer shorts over soccer spandex is how it’s done.

  9. LovelyLauren says:

    I always feel stupid and fat when I’m on the elliptical. The stationary bike is better.

  10. Sarah Dani says:

    ewwwwwwwwww Hans….

  11. Jillian says:

    Atta boy, Charlie.

  12. Charlotte says:

    i bet the girls never got han’s number…

  13. Alex says:

    Hahahahahaha! You. Are. Awesome. Charlie! If you ever come to Australia, my mum owns a gym. ;)

  14. Aquari'elle says:

    I Live In Halls And Sometimes I Feel Like You’re Talking About The Girls In The Flat Next Door To My Bedroom…

  15. Alex says:

    WHY IS NO ONE ELSE COMMENTING! Charlie deserves some more love!

  16. TJ says:

    I’ll bet you look glorious

  17. Mike says:

    No, you are doing it wrong.

  18. Antoinette says:

    Every time I work out now, I’m going to think of that. AWESOME haha

  19. Lonely Girl says:

    So you gonna go on a date with him? He seems like a real winner.

  20. Ali says:

    Oh Charlie, it’s a sad thing that it took Hans this long to notice you. Clearly, if he only pays attention when you’re working your cute little butt, he’s not worth your time.

  21. GAM Defender says:

    Hans is a pretty bad ass name.

  22. Dwezel1987 says:

    Was his last name Olo?

    • Mimneth says:

      As the likelihood of this Stargate SG-1 reference being recognized is probably somewhat slim, I take it upon myself to heartily commend you for the excellent allusion!

      • Kimber says:

        StarWars dummy.

      • Hannibal Lecter says:

        Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars.

      • Leila says:

        Wow. Really? Stargate SG-1??? Everyone knows it’s Star Wars. Except you, obviously.
        As a fan of Stargate, I’m offended. Sort of. Mostly, I’m just baffled that you confused Stargate with Star Wars. Which are two COMPLETELY different things.

      • unkmar says:

        You would have done better if you had gotten it confused with Star Trek. (face palm)

  23. Jessica says:

    @Kimber: Actually, it is a Stargate SG-1 reference. Han Solo is Star Wars. Hans Olo was the name Daniel Jackson took in Season 8 in an episode named Prometheus….
    [I feel like a nerd…]

    • Leila says:

      Ok, now I feel silly. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen anything from Season 8, so I don’t remember that.

    • Mimneth says:

      @Jessica, my fellow nerd of great specificity, thank you for your excellently succinct explanation. To the rest, thank you for demonstrating my point that not many would pick up on the subtle reference, and for making my first DearGAM post much less of a cheerful experience then I expected…

      • Mimneth says:

        As I hate to seem a whiner, let me amend my comment- I am not someone who keeps up at all with blogs, but DearGAM is one that I check reflexively due to Charlie’s delightful commentary and the sense of community and humor present in the responses to the posts. However, people do tend to take their Star Wars rather seriously, so perhaps I should have known better then to strike a pop culture nerve! :) Thanks Charlie and GAM family for being a bright spot on the web!

    • unkmar says:

      Ok, I haven’t seen NEAR enough of the Stargate series to know.
      I keep catching bits and pieces of it here and there. I will likely never see all the episodes.

  24. Dwezel1987 says:

    Wow one small joke and its Nerdocolypse

    • Jessica says:

      I felt bad for Mimneth, so I had to say something. I fully appreciated the joke though. I had forgotten about it until you mentioned it and that is a really great episode. :)

  25. Ylva says:

    I never no whether to be confused, amused or just laugh about how accepted it is to be incredibly nerdy in the US (or where you are from… Is it okay somewhere else? It sure as hell is not in Sweden).

    Well, Charlie, if you tried to do it as the girls said, I’d think you managed. Don’t know if you oughta to continue though…

  26. kari says:

    I always miss my birthday post! Did last year and te year before too. Darnit! Make sure you call sexy hans. ;)

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