“You can’t really hate on Cruella de Vil just because she wants a fab coat.” Thank God I have a pug…who has fleas…stay away.

“I cant help it, a bad boy on a bike totally turns me on.” You know where I live.

“He texted me ‘craving that desert.’ What the hell does that mean, like Palm Springs?” Just a wild guess, “desert” had two s’s?

What the hell, I thought you said “pastel shirts” were “super hot on guys.” Thanks for ruining my blind date.

“I can’t believe he’s with her! She’s like the bootleg version of me.” I had the same experience when I saw my ex with Zac Efron.