“Someone told me if you don’t sign your bill at a restaurant the meal’s free. We need to do this!” I’ll get your bail money ready.

“We have actual bed bugs in our apartment!? I thought that was just a saying!” Thank God we’re only sort of roommates.

“So, the war in Iraq is officially over? Didn’t that happen like 3 years ago?” No, that was just Cameron and Justin ending things.

“Okay, I honestly just noticed that keyboards aren’t in alphabetical order.” This is a quote from you and my two year old cousin.

“At first his road rage was totally hot, but now it’s getting Chris Brown scary.” Yet somehow I always feel like I’m your Rihanna.