“Wait a minute, he said he loves ‘the Boss’s’ music, but he doesn’t even have a job! Totally busted!” Google Bruce Springsteen.

“Aunt Kara, can I sue a guy cause I threw out my neck giving him a blow job?” Better question: What does Aunt Kara do for a living?

“Scariest movie ever! We’re so sleeping in the same bed tonight.” Be right up, just need to moisturize and put my retainer in.

“If that bitch talks shit about me one more time, I’m gonna wear a white dress to her wedding.” Men use fists, women use fabric.

“He was literally perfect! Except for when he asked me if it looks like his eyes have seen murder.” Don’t get caught up in details.