“I really want a penis just for a day. All I would do is flop it around.” Sorry, did you say something? Was busy slapping my dick.

“It’s for sure time to bury my Chloe.” I think I’ve learned enough to know you’re talking about a hand bag… At least I hope so.

“I dont think I can go to yoga anymore, everywhere I look is a camel toe.” That’s disgusting…So, uh, where do you do yoga again?

“Obvi the Spain team won, they have perfect skin and by far the cuter outfits.” Ever thought about taking your skills to Vegas?

I was gonna invite you to my birthday until I heard creepy Uncle Jim’s plan to turn the tables and have you “underneath him.”