“I went black, now I kinda wanna go back again.” I was half way up the stairs before I realized you were talking about your hair.

“It’s so much better having guys come over here, we never have to experience the walk of shame.” Don’t worry, I shame you enough.

“Ah, I’m so hungover!” I banged on the ceiling, but when your heart’s set on Patron, not even your all star neighbor can stop you

“Wait, Independence Day and the 4th of July are the same thing?!” Look on the bright side, now you only have to have one hangover.

“Team Edward or Team Jacob? I’ll take a double team.” You know my middle name’s Edward and I once played Jacob in Sunday school…