Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
03
I know you’re going crazy but stop Googling “someone who kills birds, Los Angeles.” Try replacing the battery in your smoke alarm.
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lolz They’re idiots :)
I don’t get it, did they think there smoke alarm was a bird or something?
Don’t understand… Oh and THIRD!
They just keep getting stupider… don’t they?
Well, Im sure googling that would produce some… interesting results. Not quite sure that they would want to explain that to anyone who happened to see their browsing history
hmm, with that search they’d mostly get info on all those bird kills. The seemingly isolated flocks of birds, thousands of miles away from each other, that died for an unknown reason. That might scare them, to be honest
Are these the same birds that migrate to Southern France? Just wondering…
By the way, I feel a little left out on being greeted into the family. Hi, everyone!
WWWWEEEELLLLLCCCCOOOOMMMEEEE!!!! :D (Now magina a bunch of fireworks going off.) I think that makes up for it.
Wow, officially the worst typo that ever was. *imagine not “magina”
The weird part is still understood it.
lol i read mangina.xDD
^ Me too, and then I proceeded to laugh my arse off.
welcome TanTan! and Theresa, i kinda figured out that magina was meant to be imagine. still pretty funny though! it’s like one of those terrible iphone auto-correct stuff, lol.
Hey, nice to meet you!!! Heres a big warm delicouse hug *HUG*
You have to keep us updated if they figure out it is the smoke detector. I am dying to know their response to the arcane mystery of a square battery with exotic round clamps and wires attached to the top. Will they fear it a bomb? One can only hope!
That reminds me of the time my cat, Sally, swallowed an obnoxious watch. My nefew came over to my apartment and, as he is very attached to my cat, quickly ran over and gave her a hug (ssomething my cat admitibly appears to loathe). Well, anywho, he quickly ran over to me and said “Aunt tobie! Quick! Sally is gunna explode!” Well, i thought to my self “oh silly cat, what did you do this time”. Well, my nefew brought me over to her and told me to listen, and sure enough, i heard a soft and muffled *tick*-*tick* coming out of her abdomin. Well, fearing what it was that she had gotten herself into, i took her to the vet. The vet took an X-ray and told me she swallowed what apeared to be a watch, and cave me some medication that would make her cough it out. So, i gave her the pills and, sure enough, some watch i have never seen before came out, although, now i dont think anyone would want it back…. I still have no clue where this thing came from… awell.
ok, i love cats. but the thought that your nephew thought your cat was going to explode coz she had a ticking timebomb inside of her cracks me up.
haha, that one took me a moment..
but! super funny!!!!!!
yeah i had to read it twice to get it XD but still very funny
Wow. Charlie that chirping has to be driving you nuts too, I’m so sorry.
I’m not gunna lie, I just had to google it. Incase you’re wondering,the results are not helpful.
The smoke alarm was beeping,
The girls thought It was a bird tweeting!
Driven insane, they searched, but in vain,
For someone to kill said birdie(:
Haha it took me way longer than it should have to understand this post.
Took me a while, too(:
This reminds me of that episode in Modern Family when the dad couldn’t figure out which alarm was beeping.
my thought was where they try to kill the bird in failure to launch… lol
I love that episode of Modern Family.
They thought… the fire alarm… was… a bird? *headdesk*
Followed swiftly by *facepalm*
I figured it out right away, but only because my roommate had a similiar reaction to theirs. But had that not happened I’m pretty sure I would have been just as confused lol.
So… leave a “Bird Exterminator” flier on their door – charge them $50 for an estimate, then come by later to ‘exterminate’ the offending foul, and just happen to notice their smoke-detector’s battery is low, and charge them an extra $10 to change the battery? “It’s immoral to let a sucker keep his money.” – Canada Bill Jones
BAHAHHAHAHA That’s a good idea. You really should Charlie!
If it was dead, it wouldn’t be making noise anymore. It would just be dead.
Not necessarily… Mine beeps really really loud nonstop until the battery is replaced.
I think Chloe means if the bird was dead it wouldn’t be making any noise
Haha good point. And I LOL-ed.
How they know what dying birds sound like is what I want to know…
I JUST got what the post meant @.@
They’re looking for somebody to kill the “bird” because it keeps chirping. Not a bird dying
I only stumbled upon this blog a few days ago and I knew at once that I loved you Charlie. Thanks for being so fantastically awesome. Also, maybe this valentines they will get a battery for their smoke alarm…though they might be confused with a battery for a present.
“Claire! Do you hear that sound?”
“There must be a bird flying around!”
“Quick! Get online!”
“I’m way ahead of you this time!”
And so to Google they went,
To browse the internet,
For a guy that would kill this “bird”
That they had supposedly heard.
But alas, they were wrong again:
Their smoke alarm’s almost dead.
I have not the smallest doubt,
That they will never figure this out.
I bet Charlie also hears this beep,
I just hope he can get some sleep!
I LIKE
LOVE IT!
You are my inspiration.. Today I had to write a song about the Trail of Tears to the tune of “Marry Had a Little Lamb” and I totally thought of you :)
Thanks guys. And I’m glad I inspire you, Jordan. Hope you did good on the song.
Go tell them to change it!
Or just slip a note under the door or something!
I’m sure that would drive anyone INSANE!
“And so to Google they went,
To browse the internet,”
That line… is awkward. Or is it just me?
That’s a great, poem, though.
YAY!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ________
. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . ,.-‘”. . . . . . . . . .“~.,
. . . . . . . .. . . . . .,.-”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .“-.,
. . . . .. . . . . . ..,/. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ”:,
. . . . . . . .. .,?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .,
. . . . . . . . . /. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,}
. . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`^`.}
. . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:”. . . ./
. . . . . . .?. . . __. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :`. . . ./
. . . . . . . /__.(. . .“~-,_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`. . . .. ./
. . . . . . /(_. . ”~,_. . . ..“~,_. . . . . . . . . .,:`. . . . _/
. . . .. .{.._$;_. . .”=,_. . . .“-,_. . . ,.-~-,}, .~”; /. .. .}
. . .. . .((. . .*~_. . . .”=-._. . .“;,,./`. . /” . . . ./. .. ../
. . . .. . .`~,. . ..“~.,. . . . . . . . . ..`. . .}. . . . . . ../
. . . . . .(. ..`=-,,. . . .`. . . . . . . . . . . ..(. . . ;_,,-”
. . . . . ../.`~,. . ..`-.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . … . /
. . . . . . `~.*-,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..|,./…..,__
,,_. . . . . }.>-._. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .|. . . . . . ..`=~-,
. .. `=~-,__. . . `,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .`=~-,,.,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . `:,, . . . . . . . . . . . . . `. . . . . . ..__
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .`=-,. . . . . . . . . .,%`>–==“
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _. . . . . ._,-%. . . ..`
WOW
That is way better than the poems
Wow, that’s what I call impressive!
Oh, and am I the only one who gets this? Do they think that the beep of the smoke alarm is a bird getting shot???
This one is worth explaining even 2 weeks later:
They are looking online for an exterminator (“someone who kills birds”) because it sounds like there is one inside.
Exactly.
epic! Did you do that yourself or copy & paste?
Amazing!
Superlative.
I’m reading the comments on my phone in my music class, when I saw this I LOL’D and everyone stared at me!
I’m in awe.
Oh, how appropriate that picture is.
Someone has a little too much time on their hands…
Ha how have the not driven you crazy yet Charlie?
I think Charlie should be nominated into sainthood for this. There is only so much stupidity one can take before they themselves feed into it.
I’m definitely a lot slower than I was a year ago.
I hate to admit that this confused me as well. My tuition dollers at work, ladies and gentlemen.
The Smoke Alarm Finch is an endangered species native to the L.A. area. It migrates to the south of France in the winter.
I suggest you get in contact with PETA, Charlie. Bird killing is a criminal offense.
((Can I be accepted into the wonderful DGAM commentary family?))
Bird that sounds like an alarm… birds that migrate to the south of France.
Maybe these girls really aren’t that stupid…
PAHAHA Who am I kidding, they’re lost causes.
I JUST realized that you made up the “Smoke Alarm Finch”…
-_-
-pats back- It’s okay. The Smoke Alarm Finch should be real.
HEY THERE!!!! welcome, were so glad you joined us. I feel as though you and us have a special connection so now you and us are now just us !
So how exactly is your show going to work? Will they being doing stupid stuff then it will show your reaction?
It took me longer than it should have to get that. Can I be in the family?
I would tell you yes, but I don’t even know if I am in the family.
This was the 1st entry on Google by the way
http://articles.latimes.com/2010/aug/18/science/la-sci-terrorbird-20100819
HA. These always crack me up
Fact: Millions of houses are burnt down for fear of bird infestation due to confusion brought on by fire alarms. Kinda ironic when you think about it…
It just keeps going…and going.
Go upstairs and say you know how to catch the bird, and get them to leave the apartment then disable the alarm. Problem solved. hah
I always wondered what there was a bird doing awake all night and day at my friend’s house, just chilling in the walls until she told me it was the fire alarm. That was a shameful day. :C
——————-
I’m sorry it’s come to this. Really, I am. But, I’ve held captive all of the knees from your bees. Until I have been accepted into this family, your bees will be shorter, uncomfortable, and they will not be able to stand properly.
Sorry it’s had to come to this. I’m a bit of a klepto in the first place, so it only makes it worse.
C:
Hi Ali. Sorry it’s not Charlie welcoming you but I thought i should act fast so that the bees can have their knees back. I like honey on my pancakes.
So yes,
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!
Hi, Angel. You’re not Charlie who has welcomed me, but I appreciate it greatly none the less. C:
Even if I had to make a ransom.
So, thank you.
EACH BEE WILL HAVE HIS(HER)KNEES BACK WITHIN THE NEXT…
There’s a lot of freaking beeeeesss….
Free the bees!!!
You know, I was never welcomed. You know how I feel? Sad. Im going to start crying now. Now Im crying! The Lord is not pleased.
Welcome. Here is your chai and here is your hankie. Why is it that Dark Lords are always so EMO. Must be the troubled childhood. (please read this with tongue planted firmly in cheek and deep affection for all on this site).
MORSMODRE!
And welcome to the family by someone who was never welcomed. I just showed up one day and never left.
I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m just trying to force my way in. Seeing as your the dark lord, and I’m obnoxiously persistent, we should team up to convince Charlie&Gang to allow us in. Or else.
Oh, LV, you’re always wanted and welcome.
You know, I was never “officially” welcomed either…
heh. is it weird that when i saw LV the first thing I thought of was Louis Vuitton?
argh, that reminds me of that post about Chanel (vs channel) and makes me feel like I’m on the same level as the GAMs. That is not a good feeling to have.
I wasn’t either Alicia…
I’m so confused, how can they not realize. *sigh*
how long has the alarm been going off? and what does it sound like? i don’t think i have ever heard one that sounds like a bird (although, there may be a bird that can mimic a smoke alarm. some have been known to imitate cell phone ringtones).
I have no idea how you could confuse a smoke alarm for a bird flying around. Also, I’m amazed you’ve been able to stand the noise for so long, Charlie. Congratulations on your survival.
Let me know when you file that restraining order, so I know to dodge the police ;)
fire drill=bird apocalypse
oh. gosh. i wish this site was like facebook sometimes…there are so many comments that i want to like
mangina, haha. reminds me of the man-gina episode in carlifornication
I just have to say, that the comments on here are SIGNIFICANTLY better than the ones on facebook. We’re just cooler. :)
Poor Charlie has a headache
from all the stupidity,
since the brainy GAMs
think that they’ve caught a bird.
Did they never realize
how to change the batteries
in the round plastic thing
that keeps them from burning?
But thank God for Google,
because otherwise
they might not know how
to get rid of their electronic “bird”.
Sorry, Alicia, I needed to try =]
BTW, Charlie, how do you know what they were typing? Are you a skilled hacker and didn’t tell us? :C I thought we were a family!
Hahaha
wow dumb
reminds me of my stupid annoying housemates, at least you dont live with them, your blog style inspired me to write letters to my housemates for their dumb acts, check it out!
http://housematedrama.blogspot.com/
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Unnatural post and all very solid info….
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This is a great bit of humor, put a smile on my face today!…