Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“My mom let me pronounce Chanel ‘channel’ for like an entire year. I’ll never forgive her.” That’s it, I’m calling social services.

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  1. Lexi says:

    I don’t know why, but I randomly catch myself trying to guess which Girl Above You said what you posted.
    (I also tried abbreviating that and got GAY, so I decided to break it up so as to not cause confusion.)

  2. Slim says:

    She must have worn Channel Number S

  3. Lizzy says:

    In a way I feel bad for their parents. To have worked so hard to raise their children and they get these girls who can’t tell Chanel from Channel. The horror!

  4. Anna says:

    Please. I’ve endured much, much worse pronunciation-abuse at the hands of my mother. Although, Coco Channel doesn’t have quite the same ring…

    • unkmar says:

      Friends, family, Its all the same. I have a friend that knows different but continues to speak of programming “lie-berries”.
      And my mom frequently hasn’t got the faintest “ideal” what she is going to do.

  5. Alana says:

    Coco Chanel’s real name is Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel…My random burst of the day.

  6. Christina says:

    So is the fight between the two of them over now?

  7. Louisa says:

    You know it was probably her mums passive aggressive response to Cathy/Claire’s behaviour. If only there was a service for poor abused parents!

  8. Alicia says:

    I used to think Ellen’s last name was “The Generous” because she was always giving things away. It was a very shamefull time in my life…

    • Liz says:

      Haha, I love this one. On a related topic, I always thought it was Allison Wonderland, as if that was her full name. I didn’t figure it out until I was almost 10.

      • Elizabeth says:

        My little sister does that all the time and she’s twelve xD Except I let it happen. Does that mean I’m like Claire/Cathy’s (don’t know which) mom?
        Uh-oh. I have to set things straight RIGHT NOW.

      • Prosopagnosia says:

        It takes a lot more than a few mispronunciations to create a new Cathy/Claire… I swear, these girls must have been dropped down an escalator when they were younger.

    • Stephanie says:

      My dad thought Cheetos were Cheese Toes until just last year. Everyone does it. I did that with something, I can’t remember what…

      I also remember last year when I realized Sunkist was a play on “Sun Kissed”. It never occurred to me before then.

    • ariana says:

      HAHAHA i used to think Lady and the Tramp was about my dog, Lady Ann the tramp

  9. justcourt says:

    First, the father who almost threw away masturbation bear. Now this.

    It’s a wonder these girls turned out as intelligent and well-rounded as they have.

    • unkmar says:

      I think the orgasmic stuffed animal was merely on the bed when she made her first arrival. But I wasn’t there, so what do I know.

  10. Jillian says:

    A girl in my French class was named Chanel and did a report on Chanel. Maybe she graduated and lives above you… I would’t put it past these girls to have been pronouncing their own names wrong…

  11. Courtney says:

    apparently they made up, so i guess theyre both able to pee now :P

  12. Lonely Girl says:

    That actually sounds like something my mom would do. Not because she’s ditzy, but because she dosn’t know what it is, seeing as she dosn’t wear perfume or makeup. Glad to see that they made up.

  13. Rose says:

    My mom didn’t tell me such a designer existed. Could I collect damages?

  14. Prosopagnosia says:

    I see where their stupidity came from…

  15. Jena says:

    Like whaa! *insert annoying baby crying*
    I’m sure her mom is CRUSHED.
    Please DO call social services. Charlie, be sure to tape it!

  16. Kristin says:

    This makes me wonder how she pronounces ‘Dolce’…

  17. Kamella says:

    I barely found out that façade was pronounced fuh-sawd and not fay-kade. I felt like Cathy and Claire…

    Then I read a few more DGAM and felt better. Thanks, Chuck. DGAM makes me feel smart.

  18. Emma says:

    I would really enjoy it if they read this website and didn’t realize it was about them.

    • Katie says:

      That would be hilarious. :)

      • Jake says:

        Claire: OMG!

        Cathy: What?

        Cl: You have, like, got to read this

        Ca: Ok…..

        3 hours later

        Cathy: OMG that post is, like, sooo funny!

        Claire: Those Girls are like Sooo stupid

        Cathy: Not like Forrest Gump stupid, more like –

        Cathy/Claire: Snooki Stupid! SQUEEEEEEE!

        Five Mins Later

        Dear Girls Above Me

        “They’re not like, Forrest Gump Stupid, more like Snooki Stupid.” Careful, the spray tan God’s don’t like blasphemy.

      • Jake says:

        * Gods
        Sorry GAM moment

      • Kamella says:

        ROFLMFAO That’s hilarious.

      • Leila says:

        that was completely amazing. i loved it!! :D

    • Kamella says:

      I bet they do.

      • Marilyn says:

        I don’t think they get to make that call, how stupid something is. Either that, or they are completely qualified to make that call. You choose.

  19. Ali says:

    Nah, if they read it, they’d probably recognize some of the pictures he puts up.
    But it would be sooo amazing if they did. Before one of them moves out, Charlie needs to anonymously send them here and let us know all about what they have to say. C:

  20. Nemesis says:

    Its obvious her mother hates her.

  21. AmyQ says:

    I thought the that the D in the Disney logo was a G for the longest time. And when I asked my mom about it she said it stood for God.

  22. Marie says:

    On my first day of 5th grade, a drop of toothpaste had landed on my shirt and I didn’t find out until the end of the day. I told my mom about it and she “Oh, I noticed that this morning. I didn’t tell you because I thought it was cute.” WTF mom.

  23. Shay says:

    You poor girl… you must be so traumatized.
    I’m guessing your therapist is, too.

  24. CharlotteBewlowYou says:

    My grandmother was horrified when I saw one of her bags and asked what “Channel” was… I think she may have gotton along well with the GAM. God rest her dear departed designer soul.

  25. Chelseh says:

    So I just found out about this site today, and sat here for over an hour reading every single page. I feel like a creeper, but am greatly pleased that he has come up with this site. :3

    • Nina says:

      I found this site a month ago, and spent a few days reading every single page. It is amazing, isn’t it.

    • KimeeFace says:

      I’ve known about this site for a rather long time, and have been stalking the comments and barely starting to comment on a few. I think I win as biggest creeper.

  26. Alicia says:

    So you pronounced a word wrong,
    I don’t get what’s the big deal.
    You’ve said and done a whole lot worse,
    Common now, let’s get real.
    Your mom didn’t want to tell you,
    For fear you’d be upset,
    But you found out any way,
    Oh well: You get what you get.

  27. Lord Voldemort says:

    I never understood the joke “Why is 6 afraid of 7” till the 6th grade. I always thought it was cause 7,8,9 and that they were bigger numbers, thats why 6 was afraid.

    • angel says:

      hahahaha. I know right? It took me a while to understand that joke too.

      And I’m sure a lot of people have had the Chanel/Channel moment, unless your mom/sister/female relative is the super fashion type and sat you down to teach you how to say them right.

      I never knew the proper pronunciation until I had a classmate named Chanel.

    • Death Eater says:

      My Lord… I don’t understand! Please tell me why 6 is afraid of 7??!! *bows in worship*

      • Lord Voldemort says:

        Oh my pathetic death eater, its cause seven eight nine! See? Eight sounds like ate! Meaning 7 is a number cannibal. Isn’t that scary?

    • lexie says:

      Lol totally true

  28. Elin says:

    …….my mom doesnt even know what chanel is………….

  29. africanandeuropeanswallow says:

    Is the fight over?

  30. africanandeuropeanswallow says:

    Also, how do you correctly pronounce Chanel?

    • Prosopagnosia says:

      Shuh-nell… And I love your name

    • Karolina says:

      As I’ve been brought up on Monthy Python and not on designers I fully appreciate your name.

      “And how do you pronounce the last name of the French designer, Coco…?”
      “CHANNEL, no CHANE – aaaaah!”

  31. Ginger says:

    I asked my five year old brother how to pronounce “Chanel” (just to see what he would say) and he said, “like, shaaa-nelllll. you should know that!” :/

    • Tigerr says:

      When I was younger, I used to be terrified of gingers…Then I grew up, and now when I see a ginger I get really excited… OMG AUBURN!:P

  32. Hiverness says:

    I am french.
    I found this site a few weeks ago. I had decided I would not comment, but reading this the first thing I wondered was “so, how do you pronounce the English word ‘channel’?” I guess it must seems quite stupid, but I usually never talk in or listen to English.
    And of course, Charlie, thank you so much for your amazing site that makes me laugh everyday (even when I should be revising for my tests…)

  33. Theresa says:

    The brand ‘Chanel’ is prounounced shuh-nell. The word ‘channel’ as in “I’m flipping through the television channels” is pronounced just as it is spelled.

    • Hiverness says:

      In France, you say sha-nell (with the a pronounced like in cat). Well, it doesn’t really matter, since the difference is basically sh/ch. I really should have known that though…

  34. Fran says:

    I bet her mom has a blog about her too…

  35. Theresa says:

    Hahaha just imagine that. :)

  36. Jordyn says:

    Truth be told, I think everyone has moments like that- I used to think the Rendezvous (Ren-de-vez) and Ron-de-voo were to different words that meant the same thing

    • Nina says:

      Rendezvous and Ron-de-voo… I thought they were the same word, just different ways of pronouncing it.

  37. lexie says:

    How stupid can these girls get one minute there tlking about charlie next there talking about a man paying hlf bill

  38. Kayla says:

    No comments from Charlie?

  39. Cyclo says:

    I love coming to this site… Although I have a confession to make. When I start reading the comments, the first time I do is type Alicia’s name into finder, in order to get that poem..

    Thanks for everything from up north!

  40. Xtina says:

    Alicia you’re like a mini celebrity here!! I would ask for an autograph, but you know…. internet

  41. LonelyNerdGirl says:

    You should send them to Italy just to see how they pronounce all the confusing foreign words :P

  42. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dina Martinez, Lauren Forrow. Lauren Forrow said: 2011-01-28 « Dear Girls Above Me […]

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    okay so im new to this website. alll i can say is this is the best thing thats happened to me in a while. always makes me smile. keep it up my friend!

  44. Armelle says:

    Well it’s actually not the fault of the parents in the event that they are from another country originally, because sometimes they’re learning English as you are too. So when you ask them stuff, maybe they assumed it the wrong way as well. Oh well.

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