Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
27
“Cathy, talk to me! I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t pee, knowing you’re mad at me.” Don’t let Cathy mess with urinary system.
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This is the first time I’ve ever heard of someone not being able to pee because they’re upset. That’s really wierd.
Alicia, I’ve decided that writing poetry is catching. I keep composing little ditties in honor of an annoying person I work with. :p Thanks a bunch for the inspiration! LOL
Any time!
Actually, it is possibile. There are a couple of mental conditions that may block our micturating abilities, especially when under stress or extreme agitation. My mum’s a nephrologist, I asked her;)
Why are they mad at each other?
Charlie, do they ever say anything remotely intelligent?
Ya, when they say “hello.”
They probably don’t say ‘hello’. They probably say “haiii omg gurrrl I hasn’t seen you in FOREVER!!!! <3<3xxx!1!!loool"
Death eater, how would you go about pronouncing that last bit?
You don’t, it’s just a bunch of giggling, squeals, air kisses, and hugs.
I have yet to read all the comments but i think Death Eater just won my vote for most LOL comment!
I was reading it in the middle of media and politics lecture and I could not stop myself from literally LOL-ing.
Kamella knows the right way to pronounce the last bit ;D
For an accurate and nauseating demonstration, see a GAC (Girl Above Charlie).
angel, thanks for the award. I accept :) I’m sorry for making you LOL in class though, hope you didn’t get in trouble!
maybe cathy locked herself in the bathroom…
Yeah but… That would make sense. Since when have they ever met that criteria?
way harsh, they make sense sometimes….
I call bullshit, I’m pretty sure I heard her pee quite easily.
Haha! I literally just laughed out loud at this :)
Can you distinguish which one of them is peeing?
It wouldn’t surprise me if he could…
You call Bull Sh*t?
…but, I thought you just said you heard her PEE.
:p (I’m sorry, I had to.)
I call bullshit on this whole site.
Hater.
Of course you do Mit
Oh splendid, you and your negativity are back…now it’s a party!
He’s the guy in the emo corner, glaring at everyone
i usually love haters, but not now
Mit is the new Angela. There will ALWAYS be haters that continue to read the site. Fact.
Mit, still wanna video chat later? Hope so.
oh, joy. Mit’s back.
…. Charlie, you listen to them peeing?
Do you know why they’re fighting?
Thanks for making my lunch break funny! :) (I almost choked on my burger…)
I just read on yesterday’s comments that you went to Palm Beach. I live in Palm Beach. You were probably like right next door to me or something and I never knew.
Nice! It’s a beautiful place. I like Sprinkles (the frozen yogurt spot).
I’ve heard of it, but never gone. I’ll make sure to check it out.
But I thought you made up the names Cathy and Claire?
Charlie, you should leave a basket of asparagus at their door.
Then, if Claire has to pee in a potted plant, Cathy will know then feel guilty.
But then Charlie would know too!
That means we would know too.
Is no one curious as to why Cathy is mad at Claire?
I am….
as am i
Bahahaha they say the most priceless things, honestly.
Wow, that’s a new one! Thanks for the daily giggle Charlie! All the incorrrect grammar I hear at work isn’t a fraction as funny as the girls are.
I want to know what they fought over. I bet they’re trying to decide who gets to ask Gerard out.
I’m with a few other people– why is Cathy mad at Claire?
I have been reading these since last february and just recently started to read the comments. I believe i am dedicated enough and would like to join the family :)
ACCEPTED.
Yeah, I kinda just pushed my way in.
I’m like that cousin that goes to all the reunions but never talks to anybody.
You’re my favourite cousin. At those reunions, I’m the adopted one no one wants to talk to.
Welcome to the family! :) yayyyyy
i still think we should have a party with Sun Chips :)
LIKE
i absolutely agree :) one of these days…
SUN CHIPS!!!
Cathy and Claire:
What a very stupid pair.
But something’s not right,
For the two are in a fight.
Whatever it may be,
Claire’s not able to pee.
I don’t know what’s up with her,
But she should probably see a doctor.
Just to share with everyone: Alicia and I are sitting on the couch and I’m reading through the comments on here when I finally burst out “Where the hell is your poem?!”. She was in the middle of writing it and wouldn’t even give me a sneak preview…
My best friend and I are fighting and i have no idea why…… but i read this and relized i really had to pee…………so it must not be that big of a deal
^Like
Heyy, just a tad of constructive criticism. :)
When you write poems that aren’t free verse, the rhyme structure must stay consistent or the poem doesn’t flow properly. Each couplet (pair of two lines) must have the same number of syllables. If you do that, you have a great potential for writing poems. :)
^Agree
If my English teacher ever requests that we share our favorite poems with the class, I’m picking yours.
I love your poems, Alicia! hahahahaha, I really want to know why they’re mad at each other!!
Thanks! And I want to know the same thing.
And I want to know how Alicia always manages to be one of the first to comment. :D Do you spend all day refreshing the site or something? Haha, you and Charlie are definitely gonna meet someday. And probably fall in love.
Things just got awkward.
I think I’m going to start shipping Alicia and Charlie now. Best pairing ever!
Charlicia?
omg. things just got awkward (esp for Alicia) but REALLY, REALLY funny.
Hah. I ship that, but with Weasley and Spinnet.
Death Eaters like romance, too ;)
Alicia, I would just like to point out that you’re DGAM famous.
You should be proud.
HEY!
Name twins!
Ha ha I have been reading DGAM for so long this seemed normal to me until I read the comments. I think I’m being turned into one of them!
It’s like the SNL skit with taylor swift.
I know why they’re fighting: Team Jacob vs. Team Edward.
Hehehe.
I giggled at that. xD
Charlie!!! answer us!!! why are they fighting!?!?!
I’m recently addicted to your blog, Charlie, and I read it to my dog everyday….she doesn’t get it but I sure do:) Thank you for making my study halls suck less.
I thought Cathy and claire were made up names… Charlie, have you been playing us?
Man, you must feel so popular.
You’ve cultivated your own cult.
Like Voldemort ;D
This site is legendary.
I’ve been reading your posts for the past few months, but only recently began reading the comments. Everyone’s opinions are hilarious, I can’t help but giggle. haha
And now, I have to ask… Can i become a party of your guys’s online family? (: lol
And Charlie, don’t you ever stop creeping.
Welcome to the family.
*They are made up names; he substituted her real name in the quote for the name he made up.
I must admit, I lurk quite a bit here, but I wanna finally join this family, too! :D I look forward to the comments just as much as the letters, haha.
Thanks for the clarification. And, of course, welcome to the family.
I feel like I am invading the privacy of a family by reading the comments lol
I second that, ha. Whenever I read theses comments, I feel like I’m over at a friend’s house for dinner and they’re all reminiscing about old times, but all you can do is sit and nodd because you don’t wanna break their flow.
You’re only adding to the flow.
Chances are, Claire probably did something ridiculous like lose one of Cathy’s earrings without asking to borrow them in the first place. Or worse: shoes. Claire will never be forgiven if she injured one of Cathy’s shoes.
You aren’t far off…
So you know but aren’t telling?! Just cruel really :-)
I think it’s the shoes. Maybe she borrowed a pair of Jimmy Choo’s or something and…. broke the heel…?
I want to join the family… I’ve got decent spelling and grammar skills, I enjoy long walks on the beach, and I have a passionate love for palindromes… does that suit your quota? Plus, I need more excuses for not doing my homework.
I’m pretty sure you made the cut.
You’re amazing, Prosopagnosia.
I know *cough* *cough* I mean ummmm thank you.
Poor Claire… their bodies are connected by stupidity. Or, I guess, ignorance. But by these responses? I’m gonna go with stupidity.
Not as good as Alica’s but..
While visiting on Charlie’s site
Cathy and Claire got in a fight
It seems that those two were as close as can be
With one mad at the other, poor Claire can’t go pee
Let’s hope our girls can reconnect their link
So Charlie can listen from his kitchen sink
wowwww not being able to pee? that’s intense people-pleasing issues
Ai Ya! Cathy must be a mixture of Chuck Noris and Jesus, to make it impossible for Claire to pee. Either that or she’s just really stupid….I’m thinking it the second one, at a guess.
I always imagine that Claire is more stupid than Cathy…
Why are they fighting? I’d like to know…oh, and I definitely ship Charlicia.
Haha, best. Pairing. Ever.
My lady might not be too happy about this, but I will run it by her. It IS pretty catchy.
Isn’t your lady busy riding motorcycles and kissing up to James Bond? I doubt she’ll mind.
A little too much anger there, Zack.
Uh okay, Charlie. I was actually joking, sorry I pinched a nerve I thought you had a good sense of humor. Well I guess I wont be welcome here,LMFAO!
I don’t know what makes you think I have a sense of humor. Just playing around, Big Z.
Catchy and very, very creepy.
“Cathy, talk to me!
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t pee,
Knowing you’re mad at me.”
Seems like a poem to me, and a great one considering the combined intellects of Cathy & Claire. Charlie, I think you are in an inception.
Didn’t I hear that on the radio somewhere?
Sure reads like the catchy chorus to a radio song.
Soon our family will have its laundry out in the air. If the pilot episode goes well, it’ll be like 20 Kids and counting, with new visitors everywhere!
And what if they’re the type who don’t clean up after themselves? The ones who don’t wash their dishes, and leave dirty comments and underwear all over the floor?
*Xenophobia*
Since you creeped my email address you can call me Zack now, doesn’t scare me FYI just really awkward. Was a reader for a while, never really commented is why I thought you had a sense of humor. WTF?
As the admin of the blog he doesn’t have to creep, he just knows. Also, he DOES have a sense of humor, but computer screens are a rather sterile medium, and thus cannot convey the true intentions of pretty much any statement. I run into this problem constantly because I have an incredibly sarcastic sense of humor that really gets lost on electronic media of any sort.
Also, Charlie, can I be this family’s version of Kramer? I’d love to just randomly butt in every nor and again, like I just did.
^now*, by the way. I apparently type too fast for my own good sometimes.
I read this EVERY chance I get, and attempt to comment sometimes, but no one ever really deems interested. Ahaha. But I think you should put a big ‘ol glass of lemonade with a sign that reads ” DRINK IT CLAIRE!,” taped to the front. But make sure it looks glamorous with hint of diva and a sprinkle of BAM!!
That comment… epic win! ^.^
Good, we’ve got a name now….
I’m thinking a possible reason they’re fighting is Claire slept with Cathy’s guy, or guy she wanted to sleep with. I doubt these two have much in the way of morals!
do you think they watch sex and the city?
because if so,
it doesn’t count until they say ‘i love you.’
Oh God, you just said the m-word…. I hate that class with a passion…
And just to throw in my guess I think that the two were fighting over which one gets Charlie. :D
So, wait, I have a question…if you can hear them talking, how is it possible you have not heard them say each others names?
He probably has, but for the sake of secrecy…
It’d probably be more offensive than funny if Charlie used their real names, you know because we’re laughing at them? It’d be like cyber-bullying.
Not that we aren’t being terribly offensive anyway but… just don’t think about that too much!
Oh, Charlie has heard their names. He’s just changed them to protect the stupid.
Protect the stupid. Oh, what would we do without stupid?
@Melody, have terribly intelligent conversations all the time, but really boring lives. Viva La Stupid!
Ahhh these girls are much like the popular girls at my school…I can imagine that they have very nasally voices. :)
I imagine they sound like giggly teenagers. Except for when they are pissed <– British term for drunk. Then they sound like fumbling teenagers. No, I'm not british. I like broadening my vocabulary and terminology.
Sounds like they’re trying to channel (no pun intended……) their inner Alicia “can’t pee…knowing you’re mad at me.” Fell a bit flat in my opinion.
My bet is on she stole the last condom from the box.
“Damn it! You used the last flavoured one! I’m sooo not buying the next box!”
Can’t you just see it happening?
I love the fact that this post rhymes.
…
Thanks for an additional fantastic tip….
Internet Blog…
It was an interesting blog post that inspired me to write-up this news article….