Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


(phone) “Don’t throw him out! That stuffed animal gave me my first orgasm…Sorry dad, you needed to understand.” No he didn’t.

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  1. Lisa says:

    Uh, that gives MORE incentive to throw it out. Much more.

  2. bill says:

    she must be really good with stuffed animals

  3. Breanna says:


  4. Lauren says:

    I don’t understand how…

  5. Maria says:

    i just feel sorry for that stuffed animal

  6. Lequia says:

    *shudders* Poor dad…

  7. Charlie McDowell says:

    Maybe he’ll put it on Ebay…not that I’d search for it or anything.

  8. Matt says:

    ‘One stuffed teddy bear that gave my daughter her first orgasm’
    Not sure how well that would sell on e-bay…

  9. Justin says:

    So thats how it is in their family

  10. AmyD says:

    there are no words

  11. Anonymous Hippopotamus says:

    I can’t wait to see Alicia’s poem on today’s subject!

  12. ella says:


  13. Charlie McDowell says:

    Alicia, you get a free pass today.

    • Alicia says:

      Hahaha! Well that’s a relief… When I read the post I had to read it twice to make sure that’s what it really said.

  14. Jon says:

    id fuck the shit out her, stroke that pussy!

  15. Elizabeth says:

    She seems very open with her father. xD

  16. Kenzie says:

    I’m scared of how open they are!! (both physically and figuratively) :)

  17. Métis says:

    oh god. or, wait, i’m not sure he’d wanna be part of this. oh, devil? does that make sense?
    (also, i’m scared of jon.)

  18. Emilyyy says:

    I don’t even understand this…

  19. Emilyyy says:

    oh, and I’ve never commented before but I read the comments a lot. It is crazy how you guys have developed a little community here. Charlie, if your show ever gets made, you should have little nods at your online friends. Maybe there could be a crazy homeless lady named Alicia that sits outside your apartment and speaks to you in poems. Not that I’m calling you a crazy homeless lady or anything, Alicia :)

  20. Spink says:

    AAAAAGH! My brain burns with the horrible images I have just had pop into my head!

    Excuse me while I nip off and flagellate my brain cells …

  21. DaleandBrennan says:

    Dear Charlie,
    I just stalked you on IMDB and realized who your mom is, she is one of my favorites. She’s so adorable in stepbrothers. that’s all.

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      I agree. She’s pretty awesome. Thanks!

    • Jess says:

      Oh my goodness! I stalked you there too but then I got really confused because I didn’t think that you were an actual famous person. I thought that you were just some random guy creeping on the girls above you. Sorry, that wasn’t meant to be offensive or anything.

    • Lizzy says:

      Well…thanks. I imdb-ed him earlier but didn’t click to actually see who his mom was. Thanks to doing that now I’ve yet to finish my Colonial History Homework and move on to my Al-Andalus Homework because I went from Charlie’s mom (which I completely agree> loved Joan of Arcadia!!!) to one of her movies to Seth Green. Who sleeps in college these days!

    • Larissa says:

      I’ve never read the comments before, and also paid no attention to you. But, I have to say, you’re dad is way more epic than your mom. Especially as Alex in A Clockwork Orange.

  22. Anna Recsik says:

    I had a stuffed giraffe. His name was Theodore, Teddy for short.

  23. Alicia says:

    Anna, you remind me of Wendy from Peter Pan and how all the lost boys always ask her to tell them her stories.

  24. Lonely Girl says:

    Okay…slightly disturbed, but hilarious nonetheless. Love this site, Charlie. From a long time reader/first time commemter.

  25. Emily says:

    My dad doesn’t like the idea of me one day reproducing, he even referred to it as “hatching” once. I couldn’t imagine his reaction to a conversation like this.

  26. Christina says:

    She couldn’t have just said “Don’t throw him out, he means a lot to me”? I’m sure her dad would have accepted this reason =P

  27. Stephanie says:

    O.O …Speechless.

  28. Helewidis says:

    I wonder about the shape of the stuffed animal. Humm…

  29. Circe says:

    I read this every day and I have never laughed so hard. I just….they’re so stupid….Thank you Charlie. From the bottom of my heart.

  30. Alessandra says:

    Oh god, everyday I come to this site it makes my day so much better. Especially since I have an O-Chem midterm tomorrow.

  31. Sofa says:

    I’m a long time reader, and first time commentor. This site is hilariously funny… Those girls say the craziest thing… And I really want to know her dad’s reaction to that little piece of information… Did he have a heart attack? Wasn’t really necessary to tell him that…

  32. Scarlett says:

    I feel like this would give him a better reason TO throw it away…I wonder if he did? Haha ewww

  33. Taylor D says:

    I love the comments and the back and forth banter on the DGAM site, but my favorite today was on facebook DGAM and it went like this:

    Charlie: I wish my first orgasm came from something cool like that.

    Moniqe: LOL, “wish my first orgasm came from something cool like that.” mean like a vagina

    Charlie: Moniqe, I mean, I guess a vagina is considered cool.

    Needless to say Charlie I laughed so hard and got excited when I saw this, because Moniqe is an old friend of mine. Obviously you can see she’s pretty awesome and I just can’t help but not give her kudos for her epic comment.I also thought it was pretty cool to see you acknowledge a comment from someone I know, idk.

    • Lequia says:

      I read that too!! It was pretty funny! :)

      However, I like our little “community” here a bit better.

      • Taylor D says:

        Haha, well between Alicia’s poems and now Anna’s stories on this “community” I can see why. It’s just today my friend came up with a really good comment so naturally that became my favorite of the day.

    • Maggie says:

      I’d figure it had been form his hand…

  34. Shay says:

    Hm… I’m not sure any of us needed to understand…

  35. Mortus says:


  36. Kayli says:

    i’m pretty sure that their father-daughter relationship will never quite be the same..

  37. TanTan says:

    I bet she didn’t use the same logic when she dumped her first boyfriend!

  38. Bella says:

    Same tactic for getting rid of boyfriends?

  39. Jenn says:

    Well that gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘daddy issues’

  40. AmyQ says:

    I wish I could get a stuffed animal to do that…

  41. Leah says:

    I think a simple, “that stuffed animal really means a lot to me” would have sufficed. But then again, these are the girls above Charlie :)

  42. ChelsLynn says:

    O.o Scary but that sounds like something my cousin would say…..

  43. blahblah says:

    hello everyone :)

  44. Jess says:

    Charlie, we are in a love/hate relationship. I love you because these are hilarious. I hate you because they are distracting me from the rest of my life.

  45. Lock says:

    “Where’s Mr. Biggles? I can’t go to bed without Mr. Biggles, Daddy!” I wonder if her father is remembering conversations like this, and needs to lie down.

  46. Jessica says:

    Oh goodness, that’s just…wow. And yet, it still cheers me up from my day where my over-controlling school takes my stuff. Thanks for our breaks from reality, Charlie. :)

  47. Fatima says:

    So what do you think you’re gonna do if the girls find out about, well, this:

  48. Jacob says:

    I’m okay with this.

  49. Sam =] says:

    Hey everyone…. Been away for a while… School vacation is over and I had piles of homework….. After reading this I almost died of laughter!! 

    Any new news on the show Charlie

  50. Mr. Coffey says:

    Aww…no poem today…as soon as i reasd this post i was like…”i gotta read alicias poem on this!”

  51. Melissa says:

    And to think… I almost forgot check the blog today. Question: Have you ever overhead the girls say, “I can’t believe I just said that?” Good grief.

  52. Sam =] says:

    Charlie you site just depressed me for te first time ever. 

    I posted then I commented on Anna’s post Thingy and I quote! When I hit “submit comment” it didn’t submit my comment but it brought me to a page that said (and I quote!) “You are posting to quickly. Slow down.”

    I’m still not sure what to think 

  53. Christie Belanger says:

    Sometimes I’m glad that I don’t comment or read the comments….other times like today I am just unsure of what to say…wtf I don’t want to know how the hell that girl managed that….freaky stuffed animal fetish

  54. CoCo says:

    Her poor father… her poor, poor father. He never deserved a daughter like this (I know because no one deserves a daughter like this)…

  55. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by natasha clifford, sgnewsfeed. sgnewsfeed said: 2011-01-25: (phone) “Don’t throw him out! That stuffed animal gave me my first orgasm…Sorry… […]

  56. TwoGirlsShortOfThreesome says:

    My only post to the girls

  57. ChelsLynn says:

    Oh my. Has anyone gone to the site about the sitcom? People are ridiculous on there. Charlie, you should start a “Dear Idiots of the World” page.

  58. ChaosQueen says:

    Now we find out that this is how Pedobear was created. A poor innocent stuffed teddybear minding it’s own business when suddenly the young snatch of DOOM violates him! Teddy is forever traumatized by years of on going abuse by the young harlot and has developed some severe psychological issues that cause him to be a predator against innocent children! In his own sick and twisted mind he he has come to enjoy the abuse to an extent and in some darker part of him it is a way of getting back at the harlot that forever ruined his life.

    Now the strumpet’s father wishes to end the bears misery by disposing of him, maybe ripping him to shreds that he has learned the shame his harlot spawn has committed to the innocent creature, but the strumpet will not allow this for he has a “special place” in her heart still and if she ever got her claws on the bear a special place in the cavern of DOOM! so thus the torture will begin anew.

    God that was a random comment….

  59. Fliss says:

    Wow. That was a good idea, I think its the truth. Little does she know that the Pedobear will be hunting her down if she ever has a child.

  60. Louisa says:

    ew. ‘Nuff said.

  61. Kristina says:

    Since Alicia is taking the day off from this one, I though maybe I could (try to) entertain with a short poem?

    Oh Teddy, dear Teddy,
    I’ve loved you from the start
    You helped me reach my first big O
    You’re always in my heart

    But now Dad wants to throw you out,
    To rot in some big dump
    So Teddy, dear, for old times’ sake:
    How ’bout one more hump?

  62. Nate says:

    Gratz on the series, long time viewer, first time commenter, hope all goes well with the show, and though I don’t usually watch tv at all, I’d gladly start watching this :)

  63. Polkadot says:

    I had a favourite stuffed toy. It was a cat with a bell in it’s tail.
    I heard the bell jingling in my room one day. My cat was humping it.
    I threw the cat out for garbage collection and a child took it.
    I was amused. he was now the owner of jingle-jizzcat.

    • Andy Girl says:

      Haha that’s bad…
      I had a giant stuffed teddy that my boyfriend got me for v-day one year and I had it sitting in a corner and my cat used to go nurse off from it so it had a whole bunch of ‘nipples’ from the cat before I just threw it out XDDD

  64. Beth says:

    I just spat my tea out. What. The. Actual. Hell?

  65. Sarah says:

    Are they pretty? I feel the need to ask

  66. The presentation is awesome! ! ….

  67. Mariposa Betsy says:

    Wow the build-a-bear workshop and beanies babies are forever ruined for me! xD Hey everybody, I’ve been reading this fpr a while now and I always wanted to comment since I love this little community here =D

  68. LonelyNerdGirl says:

    This site always makes my day! Because who doesn’t need a break from double major science homework? I DO!!! oh my god… I have little to no life : Atleast there’s always the community :P

  69. Sam =] says:

    When t

  70. Sam =] says:

    Oops sorry I’m on my iPod 

    I meant to ask when is the show gonna start?

  71. Jillian says:


  72. Optimus Prime says:

    That’s just…delightful. Really.

  73. Miss Kate says:

    You make my heart happy.

    Good day to you :)

  74. Sam =] says:

    Charlies is it possible to break the site?

    The “You are posting comments to quickly. Slow down.” thing keeps coming up. But I’m not really posting that much… Am I?

  75. AmyD says:

    I have to wonder what Charlie’s face looked like when he heard this one…..and what his first thought was….ewww

  76. Elin says:

    My first thought was,what kind of animal was it ?!

  77. Kelsey says:

    Charlie, here up north us Canadians love you. Just and FYI. Eh.

    • Green Rabbits says:

      Haha yeah! I’m not sure whether to be happy or sad that we’ll never have anything like this in Canada. What with our 1 story igloos and such, we can’t have anyone living above us.

      And Hello DGAM community! I love all your comments!

  78. HHS says:

    Yeah…Sorry, I had to tell someone or else I would have burst.
    And also, I LOVE ALL THE COMMENTS, POEMS, and STORIES on here! DGAM is amazing. <3

  79. Alexandra says:

    I think her dad needs some brain bleach ( tequila) to forget that. And why on earth would she want to keep that? There’s no way that stuffed animal is still huggable.

  80. Geno says:

    She could stuff my animal.

  81. laurad says:

    Hey alicia!!
    You know who could play you in the show; Helena Bonham Carter! ;D

  82. Stefie says:

    My first reaction was: EWW
    My second was: I must try that sometime…

  83. Tara says:

    This is a few days old already, but it made me think of this when I read it:

  84. Kate says:

    How do the girls not know about this yet?

  85. Bill says:

    Oh my frekn god, that was the funniest thing I’ve ever read. EVER. You can’t make this shit up.

  86. Adult females are materialistic gold diggers. Beware….



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