Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
Jan

10

“My mom said I look sturdy. I’m trying not to get mad and just know she’s upset about turning 50.” That’s really big–SMALL of you.

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  1. Carly says:

    These girls are hilariously stupid.

  2. Charlie McDowell says:

    My dad admitted to me the other day that when I was a kid and playing soccer, he would say under his breath, “Well there goes Fatty McDowell trotting down the field.” Definitely my “sturdy” moment.

    • Sam says:

      Like Monica on Friends!

    • Carly says:

      Haha! Your father is hilarious. You guys are just short. (shorter than me) You just filled out your frame really well.

    • Alicia says:

      My mom admitted that when we had field day in elementary school and I thought she was rooting me on, she was really just laughing at me because I kicked my ass when I ran.

      • Theresa says:

        Yeah and then she fell…haha but I did the same thing so I don’t have a lot of room to talk.

        P.S. How do some people have really cool avatar thingys…?I don’t know how to change mine!!

    • Taylor D says:

      I’m guessing maybe that’s just your dad’s British humor.At least I hope so, for your sake.

      • Bruhhh says:

        British humor is really the only kind of humor. Everything else tries to reach it’s level but just fails :]

    • Emily says:

      Well, my little sister STILL refers to me as “Thunder Thighs” even though we share clothes..

  3. Sam says:

    Charlie! Do you really hear these types of gems every single day??

  4. Grace says:

    I aspire to live meet these girls… top of my bucket list :)

  5. Karolina says:

    Well… Is she sturdy?

    • Brandy says:

      Something in my heart of hearts makes me doubt that a girl this shallow could be “sturdy”.

  6. Eliza says:

    Oh my gosh. I can’t even imagine what you hear every day Charlie. It must be very entertaining.

  7. Maria says:

    I refuse to believe that those two are real. If I’m wrong, then we are doomed as a race…

  8. Fliss says:

    Wow, they care so much for their mums…

  9. Lequia says:

    At least she didn’t tell her she has child-bearing hips! MY mother told me that one day to “console” me as I was lamenting the size of my trunk-junk.

  10. Sam =] says:

    Just a random thing that you probably don’t care about…I finally got an A on my english paper…He told me my poem was extremely good :) ….Told you it was worthless but I am proud of myself. :)

  11. Natasha says:

    i spent two hours reading everything you’ve written on here. i like you.

  12. Lock says:

    I stopped bringing my mother to my music concerts in school after she complained how boring they were, and how terrible we all sounded.

  13. Alicia says:

    Just because she’s fifty, it doesn’t mean she’s blind.
    Yes, she may be grumpy, but the scale? It doesn’t lie.
    I personally haven’t seen you, so I can’t really say,
    But if your weight’s like your stupidity, a whale is what you weigh.

  14. Ciara Thompson says:

    My Mam Said I Looked Like One Of The Starving Children On The Ads For Concern. Not Because I Was Skinny, But Because My Stomach Was Swolen. Then She Sent Me To Junior Fat Camp.

  15. bribri says:

    thats just a nice way of calling yourself fat.

  16. CalCar says:

    Hilarious! Just finished reading the entire archives and they’re all brilliant. Just one quick question Charlie. Are you really the Charlie Mcdowell the internet says you are? Are you really the son of Phineas and Ferb’s Grandpa Fletcher?

  17. Melissa says:

    In 6th grade, I had a crush on this boy so I cut through his backyard on my way home from school, just hoping he would notice me. He did. When he saw me he yelled, “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you. I’m for save the whales.” When I told my mom she said, “That’s what taking short cuts will do to you. “

  18. Melody says:

    Poor thing.

    Not.

    I’m beginning to think that their aversion to intelligence and common sense is some kind of family genetic mutation.

    On a completely related note, I’m terrified for my potential children and the future may have to share with possible-Timberlake offspring.

  19. Kayli says:

    A small part of me has always wondered if somewhere in the dark depths of the Internet, the GAM are writing a blog about charlie.. “dear bearded guy below me..I saw you at the laundrimat wearing a spandex *ewww* body suit. That is not your shade of pink.”
    Personally Charlie, I think you look dashing in the morph suit.

  20. Ythrl says:


    Where is Mortus?

    • Hyacinthus says:

      Dead.

      • Anna Recsik says:

        Ooooooh,
        Early in the morning, and who did I see?
        Hy-a-cin-thus, said a few words, but naught did he,
        Hy-a-cin-thus, who spends all the day staring at comments in bliss,
        Hy-a-cin-thus, looking intently in case of something he’d missed,
        Hy-a-cin-thus, Hy-a-cin-thus, Hy-a-cin-thus, Hy-a-cin-thus..
        Hy-aaaaa-cin-thuuuss!

      • Hyacinthus says:

        Aw how sweet. Not every day someone writes a poem for me.

      • Hyacinthus says:

        MISSED YOU BTW.

      • 500 Days of Kissing My Pillow says:

        Oh, Anna.
        I missed you so.

    • Anna Recsik says:

      Whilst the prophet Mortus’ divination fore-told of his shortcoming, he couldn’t prepare for the events that transpired. In his wooden shanty, housed in the forests of the most secluded of all places, while attempting to deliver the word of The Appendaged One over the most devious, vile of all connections – Satellite – was attacked by his trained rabid squirrels, which powered aforementioned shanty/Internet.

      “Yn’gnl sh’g: D’phnxgul k’tha dugh, ughl’nigu’ra ulfn’ahk y’ngwu Maghoor-N’kyah? F’nakhr ugh’r’yheh liung’ngu a’Phtak’lu, hfir’knia y’nu h’lyeahugha Oprah rg’ynh.” He screamed as the vermin tore at his flesh; the words of Ythrl.
      Mortus was last seen in Canada.

  21. Alice says:

    Charlie you are a legend!! As are all you commentators! I am not sure which bit I find more entertaining the GAMs or the comments. If the tv show is made it better come to New Zealand!

  22. Gabbie says:

    Charlie – you been ok lately man?

  23. Ciara Thompson says:

    Why Do You Call Yourself After A Murderous Psychopath? Sorry, Cannibal.

    • Hannibal Lecter says:

      It’ll interest you to know that there is a ‘reply’ button just below my comment. If you use it, there will be no trouble finding any replies you intended for me. As for your query, I only see it fitting to offer another question in response to yours.

      Are you a fan of Twilight? You seem to be, Thompson.

    • niab says:

      More Importantly, Is There Any Particular Reason Behind Your Capitalization Of Every Word?

  24. Ciara Thompson says:

    Yeah I’m Very Blind And Capitalizing Helps Me Find The Beginning Of Words.
    I. Hate. Twilight. It’s The Only Film Saga Phenomenon Where The Books Are Better Than The Film. I Read Half Of A Chapter And Had To Go Vomit And Watch Six Hours Of Star Trek. Why, Is There Someone In Twilight Called Thompson?
    Thanks For The Help, Hannibal.

  25. Ciara Thompson says:

    Sorry, I Meant Films Are Better Than The Books. They’re Both Awful Though. Death To Twilight. Or Un-Death. Whatevs.

  26. David-O says:

    I bet her mom’s a MILF.

  27. Your blog looks good. Nice choice of colors for the designing. I dont think this blog is WordPress is it?…

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