Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“We have a major situation on our hands: He’s ungoogleable! I don’t date anyone I can’t stalk first.” Thank God we’re not dating.

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  1. AnnoyingGirlSlayer says:

    bahahahaha, Charlie, you are one lucky guy XD

  2. James says:

    Why not? It’s not like they’d find anything….

    • AnnoyingGirlSlayer says:

      Umm, i don’t know what you thought, but if they googled Charlie, dontchya think this BLoG might pop up? just a thought…

      • Aislinn says:

        Something tells me James was being facetious…

      • Gretchen says:

        Something tells me there is a good chance, if it weren’t for the picture (or even with it), they might not be able to tell even if they found it.

        I love your use of the word facetious, Aislinn.

  3. Melissa says:

    I will admit it- I have been known to cyberstalk. It’s like a sickness I have. I like to think of it as an added bonus though, rather than a prerequisite.

    • Aislinn says:

      It’s not stalking, just prior research…

      • Nobody says:

        Which these days is smart! idk about you but i don’t wanna be date raped, murdered, or anything like it!

      • Jake says:

        most people who date rape are acquaintances or people you know. you’re more likely to be raped by a close friend than some random stranger in an alley

  4. Ella says:

    I totally agree.. I’m guilty of stalking too, I mean isn’t that what facebook is for? haha But honestly, I’d have to admit if I couldn’t find anything about the guys I’d be a little concerned haha.

    ps: Charlie, you’re amazing and so is this blog.. so no charming the girls. This website can’t go down.

  5. being nice (well not now) says:

    hmph i’ll bet that if they google DGAM, they’ll get more hits than their own name

  6. Christina says:

    Haha, this is hilarious! I wonder what she’d say to you if you were dating and she found this blog XD

  7. Ci says:

    A lot of guys are unGoogleable, that kind of narrows their selection.

  8. friendlove(= says:

    what do they do if you date them and they find this blog?
    it will surely be the end of it.
    no dating the GAM.

  9. TanTan says:

    I feel like this is the lead up to the climax of a romantic comedy. Things begin to fall into place. You and the GAM chat, they turn out surprisingly intelligent, everything is too perfect. Then, they google you. How will you win their love back once they discover the blog? HOW?

  10. strawberry says:

    …cute. Just adorable. I totally love stalking my crushes. On google. You know, cause that’s part of life. Stalking men on google. But then again…

    These posts are like little pockets of sarcastic humor. I love them; so thanks (:

  11. ella says:

    I just googled you.

  12. E says:

    I found you on The fact that you are somewhat of a celebrity saddens me, as it makes it more likely that this site is fake. Shame. Idiocy is so rampant in society, it’s entirely plausible.

    • trendywendy says:

      dude, you’re so dumb. Don’t use your large vocabulary in reference to how idiotic you think celebrities are. James Franco graduated from UCLA and i believe is currently working on a PhD from NYU. If Charlie’s an idiot, hes an idiot. But dont blame his royal upbringing. That’s even more childish than the original thought process.

      • R says:

        I’m pretty sure that E was not calling Charlie an idiot, they were saying that the girls above me was a plausible situation because there are so many idiots in society. Just a thought…
        And if you aren’t bright enough to understand his/her comment, i would suggest withholding criticism, especially that which questions the inteligence of E.

  13. Orchid says:

    That would be awkward…. just sayin’

  14. Trippetta says:

    Yeah, I wait until I’m actually dating the guy before I google them. Gives them a chance to ‘fess up first.

  15. Aislinn says:

    Why do so many people have to point out the fact that this could be fake? WHO CARES IF IT IS? I know I sure don’t. So you sailors who do feel a need to be so negative, should just… go troll elsewhere.

  16. Lequia says:

    Even if this IS a fake site, its the sweetest lie I’ve ever swallowed.

  17. Alexis says:

    There’s no way a MALE could make this stuff up.

    • Alicia says:

      Exactly. Being good liars just isn’t part of a guy’s genetic make up. Plus, I really don’t think any moderately smart person could make the things the girls say up; the stupidity has to come naturally.

  18. Theresa says:

    ooooh slayed…

  19. Roth says:

    you are nicer to your neighbors than we are. we are actually moving to get away from them…hopefully our new place will be quieter. here is the story of our first encounter with ours form almost a year ago:
    i wish i had your patience!

  20. Bellatrix Riddle says:

    Charlie,what if they realized who you are and who your dad is??Im sure they would flip out.Btw,I dressed up as your dad for Halloween last year.Weird now that Im obsessed with his sons blog. :P

  21. Alicia says:

    Almost forgot my poem:

    Nothing came up online,
    So now she’s using up the time
    Trying to figure out why
    There’s nothing about her guy.

    …Maybe he’s a spy?

  22. Amy says:

    Dude, you are making a sitcom about this? I mean, they sound like they’re pretty idiotic, but even they might notice some of their own phrases popping up on their TV…

    • Amy says:

      And I’d hate to see the end of DGAM!

    • Anon says:

      Amy, I wondered about that too! I hate to sound like a downer, but the DGAM sites(FB, Twitter etc) are the epitome of hilarity.

      Charlie, if I may be so bold? IMHO if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Taking it to TV seems like overkill…

      Everyone else please don’t shoot me. *ducks*

  23. Alicia says:

    It would mean the end of procrastinating for me and many more.

  24. :}D says:

    i like unicorns too. too bad Noah, left them off his boat. (:

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