Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
Jul

30

“What?! Why didn’t you tell me I had lipstick on my teeth the entire night!?” Probably cause she’s trying to fuck the same guy.

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  1. Sienna says:

    I feel some tension arising between their relationship. Maybe you should go up and help smooth things over.

    • anonymous says:

      with his penis?

      • Sienna says:

        I forgot the rule about never inerfering with nature. A true documentarian only observes from afar.. And anyway, after reading more current posts, I’m sure that he is too worried about being “up to par”…

  2. Brittany says:

    This makes me wonder how many guys they’ve shared.

  3. Laurenn says:

    first comment :)
    ahaa charlie, genius response as ever.
    you’ve got cathy and claire all figured out ;)

  4. Laurenn says:

    first comment :) no wait.. third :/
    ahaa charlie, genius response as ever.
    you’ve got cathy and claire all figured out

    • Sinra says:

      Okay, let’s not turn this into FML or TFLN and make stupid posts about being first. No one cares… Especially when you’re FOURTH. I’d like to think the DGAM audience is above things like this.

      • Scooter says:

        lighten up, its okay if that what she gets excited about it, its the little things in life! Good job at being firstish/fourthish!

  5. Scooter says:

    hmmmm….what would she say if she heard you? “You don’t know me, you don’t know us, you don’t know what we’ve BUILT! Who are you!?” lol, you’re probably right though.

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      Is this Shaun?

    • Scooter says:

      hmmmm….I thought you were a better guesser than this…

      • Scooter says:

        I’m just messing with ya, Charlie…I have no idea who Shaun is but I was really hoping it was a “real life” friend of yours. The idea of you sitting at home trying to figure it out made me laugh in the same way that text messaging a good friend who lost all their numbers does. But in this case, yes, funnyordie. Watched it way back when…took me awhile to make the connection between DGAM and that, but I finally did. Good stuff!

  6. Scooter says:

    are you trying to run a location id on my computer as we “speak”/type? ;)

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      I wish I knew how to do such a thing.

      • Scooter says:

        well, you could also look at the email of the poster I’m guessing since it’s your site…in this case my email has my name in it so you could have stopped guessing. You’re not as tech savy as I thought you might be apparently…oh well, we can’t all be. =D

      • Charlie McDowell says:

        Nice! I’m very impressed with the funnyordie quote! Thanks for reading.

      • Scooter says:

        no problem, there were so many great line in those! My favorite being “She doesn’t respect his profession so we’re just telling him to stick through it.” Very clever, and
        “He stole a woman’s flotation device, what do you expect!?” I wish I could figure out a way to use those in a conversation with the same comedic punch. Oh college days…I miss them and it looks like you had fun in them.

  7. Mitchell says:

    girls play dirty like that, she shouldn’t be surprised.

  8. Rebekah says:

    LMFAO! It’s funny because its true

  9. Angela says:

    Not so much a funny response as… mean? Angry? Did they find out you’ve been stealing their panties out of the laundry room?

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      Nope, they still think the “laundry machine ate it.”

      • brenda says:

        hahahahah “laundry machine ate it” hilarious!

        thanks for the website Charlie. . .always makes my day! (:

  10. holly says:

    I love you and your wit.

  11. Rachel says:

    Ouch
    that was kinda harsh. Prolly true. But harsh.
    If this girls were smart they wouldn’t wear lipstick. They would wear a light layer of tinted lip gloss. This way their hair doesn’t get stuck nor do they get lipstick stains on glasses, napkins, or teeth.
    Oh the life lessons I’ve learned from being a ballet dancer.

  12. Averie says:

    I like to imagine that every guy at that party thought she had a piece of red pepper stuck on her teeth all night. Poor hygiene is a definite deal breaker with the guys they hit on.

  13. Annabélle says:

    I don’t know, Charlie. They seem like the kind of girls who would enjoy a good three way.

  14. morgo says:

    Ha, I feel like your distaste for them is growing in your advice. You’re no longer suggesting an opinion, but rather telling them how it is.

  15. Alex says:

    Ouch, I felt the heat of that burn. Getting a little… mad, Charlie? They ruining you sleep cycle?

  16. Haley says:

    Dear Charlied,
    I really thought I should tell you that I love your beard. That is all.

  17. Anna says:

    Amazing

  18. Emily says:

    Well, at least you can sympathize with the guy, Charlie. You have about a hundred girls fighting over you.

  19. Silvana says:

    Levo meses leyendo tus posts… y me encantan!! Besos

  20. Jillian says:

    seriously, this website is TOO funny. i love it charlie – straight up genius :)

  21. Sarah says:

    This is funny but true. It always makes my day a little better to open DGAM and find a new post. Thanks for taking time out of your days to entertain us Charlie! It is much appreciated (well, by me anyway)!

  22. Ariana says:

    This site pretty much makes my day haha thanks so much Charlie for creating this.

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  24. Charlie McDowell says:

    Thanks for all your kind words, everyone!

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