Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“The psychic said I’ll marry a redhead! I can’t have fire crotch kids!” I think their pubes will be the least of their problems.

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  1. Ready Salted says:

    Fire crotch kids? Really? That has just clarified the reality of this in my mind.

  2. Ashley says:

    This site is dangerous. I’ve become a DGAM addict. It makes me laugh too hard, which is not good when you’re using your laptop at a busy cafe and people stare at you. But oh well, I guess it’s worth it…

    Charlie, thanks for creating this and writing hilarious stuff every day. You’re awesome!

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      Thank you, Ashley!

    • Arielle says:

      It IS addicting. First you discover it and start reading and just never stop. Then you start going up to your friends and say in hushed tones “Bet you’ve never tried DGAM before, don’t be a sissy, just have a little…”

  3. Nana says:

    I died. This is absolutely hilarious.

  4. Apryl says:

    Hey, Charlie, aren’t YOU a redhead? Oh my…

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      I guess you could say I’m a red beard, not a red head.

      • Apryl says:

        Haha, like Captain Black Beard… only red. But that still means you can have redheaded babies. It’s your destiny!

  5. Emily says:

    I take back what I said yesterday.
    You Rock.

  6. Natalie says:

    I so wanna move in with you :) how do you look them in the eye still without bursting out laughing or giving them an evil eye?

  7. Emma says:

    I had a DGAM moment today! I was at the mall, sipping my coffee, and these two girls walk by. One of them exclaimed, “I think I was conceived by anal!!” There’s classic Claire and Jen for ya.

  8. Charlie McDowell says:

    Sam, yes, they are Cathy and Claire. They have a friend named Jen.

    • Sam says:

      Aww apparently I missed one! Oh well, now I must dive further into DGAM, no complaints here! ;)

  9. Heyli says:

    Dang. What is so horrifying about red hair?

    Thank you for this website. I went to school with a girl who asked what another name for white people was. We told her Caucasian. She asked us where “Caucasia” was. *facepalm*

  10. Michelle says:

    Cause the most important thing about having a baby is the color of its pubes….

  11. Christine says:

    Hahaha Charlie you’re a genius for making this site.

  12. JP says:

    I’m at work and started laughing so hard, i was crying.. Thnx for this awesome site. It makes my day.

  13. Nan says:

    All the more reason for kids to wax XD Clearly this psychic has seen you in their future!

  14. Melissa says:

    Possibly the best one yet. I love it. I can’t think of anything witty to say, so I’ll just ask you to keep up the good work Charlie.

  15. Raine aka MaggieRandom says:

    Wow. haha!!
    This is up there on my list of ridiculous things these girls have said..

  16. Lauren says:

    Oh good lord. These girls are an unending supply of amusement. Like the kid’s biggest problem would be ginger pubes with one of them for a mother…

  17. Sarah says:

    Part of me is sort of hoping the girls will discover this website because I have a feeling their response would be the funniest thing yet.

  18. Nikki says:

    Somebody needs to stop these girls before they do have kids! We do not need more of them on this earth.

  19. Claire says:

    Oh! How awful that would be! If I had a fire crotch kid I’d want to kill myself! That would be horrible!!!

  20. Becca says:

    I showed my roommate this site and now we’re both addicted.
    Thank you for making me laugh with every letter to the girls :) I’m just sorry you have to hear every dumb thing they say…even if they are amusing.

  21. Karen says:

    As a ginger I suppose I should take offense to that…

  22. Mitchell says:

    well if they’re her kids, they might be just as upset about the color of their pubes as she is…

  23. Sara says:

    What? Does she know she’s crazy? Or are we all crazy because we eagerly await Charlie’s post each day so we can laugh at their stupidity? Thank you for this site Charlie.

  24. kelsey says:

    haha omg you make my day every day thanks :)!

    .P.S. you are my idol <3 :)!

  25. Emily says:

    D: what’s wrong with gingers? I like my red hair…

  26. Baylie says:

    I love you.

  27. Marianna says:

    GINGER’S HAVE NO SOULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. Erin says:

    I just discovered this site today. My little sister has come in repeatedly, asking if she should call a doctor about my seizures yet. That is how hard I am laughing. I doubt that they say everything you post (no is that stupid… I hope…), but even if they only say a 1/4 of this crap, then they are the most deserving recipients of the Darwin Award since it’s creation XD Thanks for keeping bums like me entertained Charlie. Looking forward to your next update.

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      Hahaha. Well your little sister sounds like a very smart young lady. Thanks, I’m glad you enjoy.

  29. Ferheen says:

    Marry me? Hehe

  30. Jocelyn says:

    …If I had kids, I wouldn’t spend my time daydreaming about their pubes.
    But maybe it’s just me, and one of those ‘weird mum’ things. Maybe I’m too quick to judge.

  31. Taylorrr says:

    “fire crotch” isn’t referring to pubes….haha. But still, this is funny ;)

  32. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by smeeth, Arielle O'Neill. Arielle O'Neill said: 2010-07-28 « Dear Girls Above Me […]

  33. Denirae says:

    …I think these girls have just reached a new low for me. I WANT my kids to be redheads. Gingers are AWESOME!

  34. Julia says:

    Haven’t these girls ever heard of recessive genes? They just have to make sure there aren’t any gingers in their family and then they should be safe from “fire crotch” spawn.

    And by the way I’m completely addictid to DGAM.

  35. Alex says:

    If anything they might have been children of incest, they’re that stupid, but shhhh, don’t tel them that, complex words like “the” might confuse them.

  36. MissJenni says:

    This is how I’m going to make MILLIONS! “Fire Crotch Kids” will be WAY better than “Cabbage Patch Kids”. Can you imagine all the mothers fighting over them on the day after Thanksgiving? MWAHAHAHA!

  37. snowman says:

    i’m a redhead! and because of my red hair, i have gained the ability to set things on fire with the snap of my fingers. i call it “the Ginger Snap.” :3

  38. Bridget says:

    Lol u have to love it!!



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