Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
Jul

19

“Ugh, he showed up with a condom. I so would’ve fucked him if he hadn’t expected to fuck me.” How dare he practice safe sex.

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  1. Rayn says:

    Man, how do you stand it? I hope one of ’em gets pregnant just to show them. Oh, no wait! I take it back! That poor kid….

  2. Nemesis says:

    Haha, I just recebtly stumbled onto this site, and I think I’m in love. ;) you’re really funny charlie:D

  3. Lauren says:

    Good lord! Those girls are two good reasons why some people should never spawn. Charlie, you crack me up!

  4. Gretchen says:

    I agree, it is better that they should not have any offspring.

    Plus, he doesn’t know where they’ve been. O.O

  5. Lydia and Kitt says:

    The girls have been getting more vulgar lately.

  6. Cheyenne says:

    *sighs* The girls are dissapointing me. They went from ditzy girls to hoes.

    • Sarah Lea says:

      I noticed that too. Maybe he was just picking there ditzy moments more before and now not so much.

      • Charlie McDowell says:

        Don’t worry, plenty of ditzy moments! They are just such well rounded girls that I have to capture everything.

    • Cheyenne says:

      *sigh* Why must they have hoe moments too? I say they need a scene where they meet with a crack dealer. Im gonna use mind control to somehow make them do this.

  7. Louisa says:

    I guess though it depends on what way he presented the condom to her…

  8. Abby says:

    Oh dear. It’s like these girls want to be heard. I wonder if they’re loud on purpose…

  9. Taylor says:

    They were probably eating a classy meal of mcdonalds and he slipped the condom into her burger. Seeing as she probably doesn’t eat much and didn’t eat the burger he had to show it to her himself. He opens up the bun and theres the condom, soaked in ketchup. What a lovely way to say ‘lets fuck’.

  10. Brilliant Idea! says:

    Hi guys. I’ve been following this cite for a little while.

    I have an amazing idea: (Please, comment if you share my sentiment.)
    1) A movie should be made.

    – The ‘girls upstairs’ should be enlightened of our lil’ online fandango. And with proper coaching and cajoling from an agent, they would be more than likely to accept an offer of promised cash money, publicity, fame and (maybe a reality TV show?) Golden age, It would promise:

    – Scandalous Footage in which the Pair may meet the man Downstairs, Go out on a date or some sort of Shared Experience where they Meet and Inevitable calamity may ensue.

    Or perhaps sparks will fly? For both Girls and our Man? For one girl? Will this meeting be filled with Jealousy? Torment? Confusion? Elation? Self-realization? – — —

    Where would their meeting take us?

    Is Anybody Curious?

    -NWardAgent@Gmail.com

    • Tony says:

      It’s a decent enough idea, but honestly at this point I respect Charlie too much to put him through such torture. Even if the girls are incredibly hot and were to tag team him under the table at the restaurant, I can’t help but wonder if he’d be glad to have them under him for once (heh) or if he’d be railing against it the whole time, as he knows more things about them than anyone should.

    • ChrisBeaty says:

      I think that’d be an awesomely fantastic idea! *Ringing Tom Ford* =no answer= *ringing Bravotv* Fantastic idea!!! ya find a way to get it to tv & then put the word out that it’ll be a tv series & i’d so watch it! Oh, Hey TNT is calling & it’s for you! They wanna sign a deal!

  11. Andre says:

    Thats for Charlie to decide. Keep up the good work bud!

  12. Emily says:

    Could you please publish new stories on weekends, too? Otherwise here in Europe I have to wait until Tuesday to get a fix.

    P.S. Put me on the list for marriage consideration

    • vampiresquirrel says:

      He’s got a long list of people wanting to marry him, his socks, and a jar of air from somewhere close by him. He hasn’t responded to any yet… he’s being aloof.

    • F1NCHIE says:

      please tell me this isn’t Emily as in my girlfriend Emily, to whom I’ve devoted quite some time or I’d be…well…off-put.
      lol

  13. DaniCalifornia says:

    Poor Charlie. =[ Worst neighbors ever.

  14. Terri says:

    Dear guy who lives below girls: Nothing you say is ever quite witty enough. Those girls sound like they’d be fun to party with though.

    • vampiresquirrel says:

      Dear Terri:
      “Nothing you say is ever quite witty enough.”
      Hypocrite.

  15. Tucker says:

    Dear Terri:
    STFU

  16. Michelle says:

    Man I want to be just like those girls when I get my own place..lol jk, I have standards.

    I’m pretty jealous that they get to know you, though. You’re so amazing and you have a great beard! Such a waste…

  17. Addison says:

    i agree about your beard! sexy!

  18. Arielle says:

    I bet someone could make a website of what my family says out of context.

  19. Mitchell says:

    what astounding logic… not…

    • Haley says:

      What astounding grammar. Not.

      • Michelle says:

        Well, that was an awfully weak response. Considering neither of those was an actual sentence, I don’t think you have much of a right to be commenting on anyone’s grammar, especially when it’s your knowledge of grammar that’s lacking as opposed to your will to type perfectly.

        Mitchell, I agree: the girls’ logic is a little eyebrow-raising at times.

      • F1NCHIE says:

        yeah, what great grammar: not!

    • Cheri says:

      Haley got served! Lmao, loving the standards these girls set themselves. I mean, he’s obviously a condom toting bandit… Bastard.

  20. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jim Scott, smeeth. smeeth said: 2010-07-19 « Dear Girls Above Me http://bit.ly/bqmBq4 […]

  21. Katewho says:

    I envy you Charlie, if this blog with roughly one post a day keeps me laughing I’d be killer (strange way to put it but hey..) happy getting to hear them all the time!

  22. Brianna says:

    I oddly understand how she fells. I was holding a boys hand that I had been hanging out with for a week, when something feel out of his pocket. I picked it up and it was a condom. We still talk, but never could I look at him the same way..

  23. Jules says:

    Whatever, I carry a condom in my purse. I’ve had it in there for like 3 months, too. I’m not expecting sex 24/7, I’m just prepared for if it does happen

  24. Lisa says:

    Psht, I carry a condom with me at all times and tell my friends off (male or female) when they don’t do the same. You never know when you might get lucky… X)

  25. Chris J. Beaty says:

    So what’s been going on there lately with the girls upstairs? Anything interesting to note? We’re anxiously awaiting your next “AAUUGGHH!!!” from what’s been going on. Have they moved out or jsut been really quite lately?

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