Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“Did you steal Petunia’s charger so you could charge Mufasa?!” I hate repeating myself, YOUR VIBRATORS DESERVE THEIR OWN CHARGERS.

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  1. Mariana says:

    yeeei you are back!

  2. CaptainAndy says:

    Vibrators and The Lion King just don’t seem like they should go together.

  3. Virginia says:


  4. Padma Patil says:

    Mufasa is my vibrator’s name too

  5. Cassie! says:

    AAAAAAAAND I’m disgusted. How dare they name ANYTHING after the greatest king pride rock has ever seen…

  6. Maddy says:

    you are so right

  7. U.N.Owen says:

    ‘SCAR’red for life.

  8. NotRelatedtoMosesHightower says:

    Is anyone else concerned that one of them named their vibrator after Harry Potter’s aunt?

  9. Bubbles says:

    There goes the last bit of my childhood…

  10. Gamble says:

    Uhh… I thought those things ran on batteries

    • llamalicious says:

      Batteries in this day and age tend to be rechargable. Like the battery in your laptop, your phone, or your ipad.

  11. Kyla says:

    what kind of names are these?! my iridescent, purple, glittery vibrator is called Gerard Butler. realism. bam.

    • llamalicious says:

      Now, I’m a guy, but if I were to have one, I’d call it Sean Connery. Because fuck yeah Sean Connery.

    • Tara says:

      I tried to reply to your Gerard name and it posted as its own comment. I fail. :(

  12. Tara says:

    Did you see the episode of big bang theory where Amy told penny she should get an electric toothbrush for “stress relief” and that she named hers Gerard? That’s what this reminded me of haha

  13. Rich says:

    Ummm … Petunia = girl’s name … Mufasa = guy’s name … not one to judge but I’ll question … is one of the GAMs catching for the same team or perhaps she a DH batting both sides … hmmm …

    • U.N.Owen says:

      Perhaps you are right. There is not enough “love” in this world for both of them. Somebody has to catch up.

  14. Amber says:

    Honestly she named her vibrator after Mufasa, can I just like punch her in the face. Honestly I feel bad for you, (your living conditions) and I truly hope I never get into the same situation. But I do have one question, do you think that if one day they found your website and started reading, would they realize it was them that you were talking about, or would they be to vapid?

  15. Dahh says:

    Relating to The Big Bang Theory’s toothbrush gag: They really sell vibes that look like a electric toothbrushes. They have seperate heads one for the teeth and one for the you know… I laughed so hard when I saw it.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Who doesn’t love Harry Potter & The Lion King? :))

  17. Petunia says:

    How DARE they use my name for…. that….

  18. Nai says:

    …and the spam starts.

  19. allsmilees says:

    where have you been? You dont post nearly as often as you used to.

    • Tara says:

      He’s off banging Rooney Mara, so I think he has a good excuse for not being around as often.

  20. Chelle says:

    He has a life.



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