Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“She said I’ll fall for a guy who drives a green Subaru. I think we need a new psychic.” Wait! I’m in the market for a new car…

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  1. Booklover says:

    this is funny! I love this site. also, FIRST!

  2. Ashlea says:

    Sexiest damn car on the roads! Not that I drive one… *cough cough*

  3. Sarah-Anne says:

    Go for one Charlie!

  4. Herpaderpa says:

    Shoot for it Charlie! Make them see the power of the green Subaru!

  5. scytheakse says:

    What happened to his gf? Give us normal guys a chance charlie!!!

  6. Rebi says:

    Don’t let her have sex with you, Charlie! You don’t know what’s down there!

  7. Kelsey says:

    So, having heard and recorded evidence of the girls’ stupidity, you want to date one of them?!

  8. abbycadabby says:

    That would be awesome if you got one, Charlie. They would probably freak out. It would be pretty entertaining.

  9. Kate says:

    Wait until you see them in the laundry room or something, then pretend to talk on your cell about your new green Subaru. Then sit back and watch the chaos…

  10. Lena says:

    Green? This is probably her idea of getting into the holiday spirit!

  11. Robin says:

    @ scytheakse and Kelsey – Hopefully he just wants to freak them out a bit. I doubt anyone in their right mind would want to date these girls unless their IQ was in the negatives.

  12. Kelly says:

    Ohhh charlie:) no matter how stupid these girls are… I approve!

  13. Giovana says:

    Charlie, thank you for literally making my day, everyday! I love your posts! Go for the green Subaru! :)

  14. David says:

    If you get the car, do sexy poses and stuff when you get out of it and they see you.

  15. Alex says:

    My mind is a buzz with all the possible situations you could get yourself into, if you started dating one of the girls, Charlie. My main question though: would you continue with this site?

  16. Cole says:

    Cannot believe you’d still want one of these hags, even as a one night stand. These two make the rest of us ladies look exceedingly bad.

    • Caira says:

      I think you got that backwards. Wouldn’t them make us look exceedingly better. I mean, if you stand right next to one, wouldn’t you rather have the semi-intelligent one over the one of those two?

  17. LovelyWillow says:

    Please Charlie, don’t tell me you actually LIKE these idiots?



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