Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“Can a hypnotist cure me from eating too many almonds except for on the weekends?” I’d focus on the impulsive one-night stands.

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  1. Salem the cat says:

    Eating too many almonds is a far more serious problem (unless its the weekend.)

  2. angel says:

    But… if you don’t regularly eat the almonds, you’ll just end up binge eating almonds during the weekends.

    The key here is to ration out the almonds. Cheaper than a hypnotist too I should think.

  3. Rebi says:

    Maybe the hypnotist can convince her to get a job!

  4. Lena says:

    Binging on almonds should be the least of her worries.

  5. Coraline says:

    Did you know they made a response website “Dear Guy Below Us”? It’s really shitty.

  6. Alex says:

    Glad they know how to prioritise.

  7. Alex says:

    Do they even need to hire a professional hypnotist? With minds like these, they should be pretty easy to control…

  8. Jillian says:

    Charlie, get your priorities straight.

    Food = bad
    Impulsive one night stands that could lead to a slew of STDs = good

  9. David says:

    Um the issue is not how they eat the almonds… it’s that the one night stands are not really impulsive, they are COMpulsive… there is a difference.

  10. abbycadabby says:

    Although I agree that their priorities are *slightly* out of order, I would like to mention that almonds arew actually extremely addicting. Those things are so easy to just keep taking handfuls of…but a hypnostist is a little crazy.

  11. Caroline says:

    …How many almonds is Too Many? O.o

  12. Elena says:

    At least they are trying to work on self improvement..

  13. GuardGirlie93 says:


    Personally, gorging on almonds is preferable to random, impulsive one night stands. Ughh…

    Now, can a hypnotist cure them of their stupidity? Or is that asking a bit much?

  14. Z says:

    This was the only place I could actually post something and I apologize that it’s not remotely close to todays letter. You’re awesome and your mom’s awesome for being in Back to the Future III. That is so cool! Sorry, and have the girls figured out yet who you are and have found this site yet? I laugh thinking they havent. Hehe. And almonds are healthy and good…

  15. Lena says:

    I can see it now: the hypnotist becoming increasingly confused with their minds and then, suddenly understanding everything and running away in terror.

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