Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“Oh I get it. It’s called string cheese cause it comes off all stringy.” Next week we’ll tackle Push-Pops.

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  1. DDD says:

    it’s a complicated world we live in

  2. Tobia says:

    Did they learn that from their teacher, Mr. Obvious? Or Dr. Duh? or Ms. Logic?

    & Wholey Crap! i never get here this early!

  3. Anonymous says:

    After push pops you should probably move on to cubed cheese and spray butter, if the push pops don’t blow their minds of course

  4. Crewfish says:


  5. john says:

    Holy Frozen Popsicles, Batman! I just about sprayed soda all over my monitors at that one. My son knew why it was called that when he was 3.

  6. Leila says:

    WHAAAAAAAAAT??!?!?!??? They’re only JUST figuring this out????

  7. Misty says:

    After Push-Pops, we’ll investigate fish sticks! Stay tuned!

  8. Megan says:

    I wonder what GAM Lazy Defender is doing on this fine afternoon…

  9. Maeve says:

    I’m proud of them for learning this, no matter how delayed it was.

  10. Charlie McDowell says:

    I just get happy when they’re eating.

    • Ashlea says:

      I’m pretty sure push pops are close enough to something else for them to get a good idea of how it works…

      Otherwise they need to go back to Health class.

    • Sarah Dani says:

      I bet string cheese has a lot more protein than what they’re used to eating.

    • Alex says:

      Have they ever said something unintelligable because their mouths are full?

  11. Jas H says:

    MIND. BLOWN. :O how did I not notice sooner! These girls are pure genius!

  12. Macy says:

    Once again I find myself thinking, “how do they even cook themselves meals?”

  13. Sarah F. says:

    Oh god, think how much trouble they must have with things like fish sticks!! :'(

  14. Alex says:

    Mr McDowell, teaching the GAM about the important facts of life one junk food at a time. :)

    • Alex says:

      For the record, I wouldn’t mind having you as a teacher, Charlie. Not that we’d learn much.

      • Maeve says:

        I don’t think any of the readers here would disagree with you. I personally agree whole-heartedly. (=

  15. Maddie says:

    I don’t think they’ll have a hard time grasping the idea of push pops. Their heads are like the empty tubes…

  16. Nicole says:

    Hahaha okay, Charlie this pretty much just made my day… and I was already having a good day. Really, though, how can these girls really be THAT clueless? Wow…

  17. Jillian says:

    I’m so proud of them for figuring that out own their own.

  18. Stephanie says:

    I have a confession to make. About two years ago I was in the grocery store near the Sunkist. It’s been called that all my life, and it’s a great orange soda I’ve had many a time…and suddenly, it occurred to me that they came up with the name because it means “Sun Kissed”. WOW I felt dumb. However, turns out that every person I’ve ever mentioned it to hadn’t noticed it either. Are we all stupid?

    In my defense, I’ve know why string cheese is string cheese since as far back as I can remember.

  19. TJ says:

    It’s true. You really do learn something new every day.

  20. Alex says:

    *sniffs* Charlie’s disappeared again!

  21. Imani M. says:

    My two year old cousin knows this!

    I bet they don’t know how to cook or do their own laundry either….

    How do they survive in the world?

    Do they even have jobs?

  22. Beth says:

    Oh my freaking god are you serious?

  23. Jenn says:

    Willing to bet they aren’t really eating the cheese, just pulling apart the strings in attempt to count the calories one by one

  24. Mephistopheles says:

    Ah the joys of learning how everyone wishes to go back, for just a moment, to the day when they didn’t know why cheese strings were called cheese strings, but not for too long because at that age bladder control, walking and talking were all really difficult.
    Also well done to the GAM for learning.

  25. Anna says:

    Ummm… how old are they again, Charlie?

  26. Louisa says:

    I think I had this realization when i was about 7/8, i literally remember the moment when it occurred to me and i felt embarrassed then for being so slow.
    Bless them and their blonde GAM ways!

  27. MediaGrump says:

    Wow. One of life’s lessons accomplished. Next – training wheels

  28. stupid says:

    i have a friend who calls them “cheese pull aparts”

  29. DoraTonks10 says:

    Oh wow. I think we should let the string cheese fact sink in before we move on to push pops.

  30. CookiesVs.Cupcakes says:

    I’m sad to say that the whole string cheese thing never 100% dawned on me. At my house they were cheese sticks.

  31. Charlotte says:

    in thier defense….they are prob used to the cheep knock off brands that dont pull off in strings…

  32. Maeve says:

    GAM Defender, where are you???

  33. Olivia says:


  34. Kate says:

    I always thought it was because of the long shape it comes in, not because you can pull it apart in strings… Well, I feel stupid…

  35. Philip says:

    I personally wonder what they know about Zebra cakes.

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