Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“Can’t I like flash my boobs or something to get out of jury duty?” Not unless you wanna end up on the stand.

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  1. Apollo says:

    I wonder why that was her first thought…

  2. Diana says:

    Probably could.
    Also, she would not be a good juror. I would not want her to be on my jury….

  3. ASchmalz says:

    i don’t think she has to worry… no lawyer is going to select either of them

    • Tiffany says:

      Think again,intelligent people who are capable of independent thought are not the kind chosen for a jury. Lawyers want someone who is easily influenced.

      • Melissa says:

        Lawyers don’t look for someone easily influenced (because the opposing attorney can influence them too) so much as for people predisposed to agree with their theory of the case. Lawyers get a list of the pool of potential jurors and research everyone’s income, occupation, marital status, education, what type of college, what (if any) religion, if they have an American flag outside their house, etc. These girls would be great if the lawyers were representing a celebrity or some other spoiled brat.

  4. Emily says:

    I’d do it if I had too!

  5. Kristen says:

    Wow. She is very logical with her thoughts.

  6. Alex says:

    *snickers* Yeah hun, flashing your boobs isn’t gonna help you.

    • Alex says:

      Post number 6. That’s pretty good for me. *sighs* But I’ll get the numbet 1 spot someday.

  7. Sackonutso says:

    I think she is confusing this with getting pulled over….poor thing

    Someone should encourage her to do it… Charlie?

  8. Alicia says:

    Flashing isn’t a way out,
    It’s just as good as a pout:
    You’ll still have to serve,
    Give the sentence deserved,
    A lot have been down the same route.

  9. AmyD says:

    She probably will get picked if either attorney is a man…..they like to look at pretty jurors sometimes…..but let’s hope not!

  10. Liz says:

    Haha, what a great birthday post. Thanks, Charlie!

  11. Anna Recsik says:

    I love her.

  12. Kate says:

    i just saw your dad in Easy A…i think i like Charlie McDowell more though ;)

  13. GinnyPotter says:

    i wonder what they’ll say about the royal wedding tomorrow

    • Leila says:

      i doubt they’re even aware of it. and if they are, i’ll bet they’ll either be passed out or boozing it up when it happens. cause it starts at 2 am their time.

      • Jillian says:

        I bet they know about the wedding. It’s famous people getting married, right up their alley.

      • Leila says:

        Yes, BUT, it’s famous BRITISH people getting married. And not in LA. So, again, I’d be pretty surprised if they were aware.

      • Antoinette says:

        It’s been mentioned on E! a million times, they know about it.

  14. Lonely Girl says:

    Oh heavens… What goes through these girls minds? Wait…Probably not much.

  15. angel says:

    Oh sweetie, really?

    I don’t get it, why is that something that even crossed their mind? *mind-boggled*

    and the poor jury team who has to work with the GAM. There really should be a law against people like the GAMs serving jury time. Haha.

  16. Jillian says:

    That’s the most creative way I’ve ever heard to try to get out of it.

    • Antoinette says:

      Someone told me to be racist. Thankfully they were black and appreciated the humor. (I’m white)

  17. anja says:

    She’d most likely get tried for ‘indecent exposure’.

  18. Bro-seph says:

    …or the pole.

  19. says:

    that only works for speeding tickets.

  20. alexaluvs says:

    My younger brother says the best way to get out of jury duty is to walk in with your arm raised like a Nazi and shout “Heil Hitler” before sitting and demand to know if any one in the room is Jewish.

    No, he isn’t anti-semantic he was just joking so dont bother getting your panties in a wad

  21. Lilly says:

    Great poem Alicia! I haven’t been on here for a while but it’s nice to see things haven’t changed.

  22. ISmellARatHere says:

    And how in the world did the GAM get into the jury duty,Charlie? More importantly,who is the criminal & what is he/she accused of?

  23. Lizzzzzz says:

    Are the girls watching the royal wedding tonight charlie?

  24. Jack West says:

    you can beg your way out of jury duty because you have Oprah tickets.

  25. Tigerr says:

    This site makes stupid people almost…acceptable xD

  26. Tacha says:

    She would be gravy for the attorney with the weakest case. The other will probably reject her though.

    I don’t get why people are so reluctant to sit jury duty. It’s simple civic responsibility.

  27. Sarah says:

    They should just pull a Liz Lemon!

    ……please don’t tell me I’m the only one who watches 30 Rock! :(

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