Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“Yes, a kilogram is a type of drug. Why, do you know where to score some?” Make sure it’s weighed properly!

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  1. LovelyLauren says:

    :o have they ever heard of the metric system?

  2. Charlie McDowell says:

    I’m pretty sure I’m gonna score some density tonight. I’m really excited.

  3. Wow says:

    Really? Woooow.

  4. InFlames2361 says:

    my guy has the best kilogram ever

  5. Ally says:

    Ironic that this occurred on 4/20…

  6. Jamie says:

    Unfortunately, I feel like not only them but anyone who only uses pounds would make this mistake.
    (oh, and happy birthday to me. thank you Charlie)

    • LovelyLauren says:

      But what about science classes? We learned all that stuff in elementary school

      • Chelsea says:

        If you’re as dumb as the girls, do you think you could remember stuff from elementary school?

  7. Alex says:

    I question their intelligence, and I’m thirteen..

  8. Soren says:

    The scary thing is that this is a belief shared by both of them. I can see perhaps 1 of them being this brain-dead, but the quote just HAD to follow the question “Is a kilogram a type of drug?”

    I am worried for the future of the world…

  9. Bertie says:

    Kids these days and their fancy lingo for drugs…

  10. Laurie says:

    You may not believe me, but I encountered two high school senior girls almost as bad as your neighbors. It was awful. I almost cried.

    • kylathelost says:

      I once met some people nearly as bad… my friends were pretending to be English exchange students to America, and some girls sitting behind them asked a bunch of stupid questions like “So, is English, like, your second language?”

      • pb says:

        i’m australian, and one of my friends was in hawaii on holidays and was complimented by the tour guide on how well she could speak english. she didn’t have the heart to explain that austrian and australian are actually different.

      • Laurie says:

        I can’t even begin to explain to you the kind of stupid that was going on. They were one fitting room over from me in the mall and it was so hard not to listen. One of their conversation points was on the Civil War. Girl A said, “That was in the 1950s, right?” Girl B responded, “You mean the 1800s?” Girl A, “No, the Civil War between the North and the South.” Girl B, “Yeah, that’s the 1800s.”
        And then they started talking about Woodstock, only Girl A didn’t know she was talking about it. She thought she was talking about some carnival where all the hippies went in the early 1980s. They finally decided it was some concert like Bamboozle that took place in 1975.
        I wanted to hand them $20 to buy a book that would recap the last 50 years or so.
        I really almost cried.

  11. Tigerr says:

    But…kilograms…Charlie how are you still enduring all this stupidity?!

  12. Tobia says:

    what worries me the most is the fact that they need to “score some” and that one of them knows where to…
    maybe that explains why they are so messed up! they have been doing kilograms of coke…

  13. BlueberryMuffin says:

    No haiku for this one… drugs are bad, kids!

  14. anja says:

    at least they didn’t say something stupid about how this is the anniversary of BP oil spill or Hitlers birthday or the columbine shooting………………………. but seriously can i score some milligrams?

    • Ylva says:

      I think you rather should be amazed that they ever have managed to say something (naturally: stupid) related to a day or anything current. If they heard someone say BP they’d probably just react – Big pack? Is that a new sort of kilogram?

  15. Mephistopheles says:

    I think they need to talk seriously to their dealer.

    • Lydia says:

      I don’t think they’ll get too far. After all, what dealer would pass up the chance to sell a kilo every time?

  16. Cygnus says:

    I wish them several dozen kilograms overnight. Imagine their horror to awake as size 4!!!!

  17. Miles says:

    You Should sell them some!

  18. Sonia says:

    Charlie, you should give them some candy and tell them its a kilogram. ^_^

  19. Hero of Time says:

    I’m Australian, so obviously metric is second nature to me. I understand that America doesn’t use metric, but to not even know what it is?

    • awesomeselflover says:

      It’s not that America doesn’t know what the metric system is, it’s that the girls don’t know what the metric system is.

      • Hero of Time says:

        Yes, I realise that. Also, I encountered stupidity almost on par with this in Las Vegas one time. I apologised for taking so long to pay, because our money is pretty much colour-coded. Then I explained I was on holidays and that I am Aussie. she replied with ‘I’ve always wanted to go to Australia, that’s right by the middle east, isn’t it?’. Not even close

  20. TJ says:

    This is America! I’m all about pounds and ounces.

  21. GAM Defender says:

    Well, when I went to high school those crazy kids were always coming up with new names for their shit.

    • Courtney says:

      My parents went to school when they were changing from the imperial system to the metric system in Canada, and they said it was just awful.

  22. Rosie says:

    Oh dear…
    Mind you, as an Australian, I do hear the word ‘kilogram’ associated with drugs on the news fairly frequently. As in, “police recovered two kilograms of marijuana during a raid in Sydney today”. Still, that doesn’t explain how two girls could be so ignorant of the metric system!

  23. AlexEve says:

    Get them to hook you up Charlie. Kilogram is good shit.

  24. Lizzzzzz says:

    Damn. i gave up kilogram for lent. :(

  25. Levi says:

    Sorry to be the one busting you Charlie, but you cant actually weigh a kilogram, you need to mass it. Weight is based on the gravational pull whereas mass is based on the actual density of the object in question. Not to be flaming you or anything, just trying to help everybody understand the difference.

    • Courtney says:

      I think relative what the GAM just said, who the heck cares. And how do you know he was not just being sarcastic (as Charlie often is)?

  26. Levi says:

    meh. haha i meant that a kilogram is a measurment of mass not weight haha. my bad.

  27. Alex says:

    Does that mean that here in Australia I can get some Miles? ;)

  28. Lucie says:

    Charlie, how do you not end up screaming at the amount of stupidity that pours out of their mouth?

  29. Lonely Girl says:

    Ha! Kilograms? Everyone knows that real druggies take Milliometers.

  30. Allora says:

    I can’t help but wonder if you feel the urge to shout responses to their idiocy through your ceiling every once in a while…

  31. Dwezel1987 says:

    I knows dis guy Noah who can get you a cubit… But dat stuff ain’t cheap.

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