Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


(regarding her loud fart) “Exactly why I’ll never move in with a guy. Who wants to give THAT up?” I guess I’m the lucky one then.

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  1. Imogen says:

    I do not understand these girls, so much for shallow tarts, it would appear they have an inner pig to them. Lovely

  2. Charlie McDowell says:



  3. Lexi says:

    You’re one vote closer to your mom calling you back.
    And congrats

  4. Taylor says:

    These girls are just so classy…

  5. Stephanie says:

    What? My hubby and I let ’em rip all the time around each other. :) I also belch way better than him.

    • Taylor D says:

      Haha,I love this ’cause it makes married life sound fun to me now.

    • Leila says:

      My hubby likes it when one comes out of me. He actually giggles. Fortunately for me, mine rarely smell, unlike his….

  6. Sasquatch says:

    do u liek me?

    rite yes/no

    • Kristy says:


    • Anna Recsik says:

      Dire consequences; To say ‘yes’ would be to acknowledge your being as a separate entity from which is my conscience stream. To adhere to such beliefs would be blasphemy, as I know in actuality that life as “we” know it, is nothing more than myself fabricating this farce to answer the age-old question: “What would you do for a Klondike Bar?” As you’re nothing more than a mere figment of my imagination I have no choice but to refuse, as admitting admiration for you would be the same as having a fondness for myself; I’m not vain, nor arrogant.

      If I were to entertain the notion that all said in the aforementioned paragraph were some sort of travesty, then maybe I’d be tempted to accede; be it as it may, No.
      Apologies, Sassy.

    • Kendall J. says:

      Yes! :)

  7. GAM Defender says:

    I read somewhere that Emperor Claudius passed a law legalizing flatulence at banquets out of concern for people’s health. Also, often times if people try too hard and spend all day holding it in as soon as they relax and doze off to sleep it comes out. So it’s probably a good idea to let it out, especially since your husband might hear it while you’re sleeping anyway.

  8. Daisy says:

    This AMAZING moment perfectly compliments the picture of you covering your ears! lol

  9. Anonymous Hippopotamus says:

    She doesn’t have to give it up! She just needs to wait until the guy is asleep and then let it all out!!

  10. Maddie says:

    You’re now at number 4 Charlie!

  11. Cygnus says:

    As long as they were not playing “pull my finger” with each other, I approve.

  12. Kamella says:

    I live in a house of all girls (my mom, and two sisters) and a gay guy (my brother)… I have to agree with her.

  13. Luna says:

    wait, do you like these chicks, or hate them…

  14. Jillian says:

    Ew. Girls don’t fart.

    • Kamella says:

      You obviously aren’t a girl, and therefore don’t know the truth.

    • Caroline says:

      Yes, we do.

    • Haley says:

      …You’re joking, right? Riiiiight?

    • Rayne says:

      You must be a female android and no has told you yet. ._.

    • hehe says:

      I hate when girls act like they don’t fart or burp, we’re human obviously, and we all do, whether you admit it or not, so correction : girls may not fart or burp IN PUBLIC, but we deff do in private. if you dont, then, you’re abnormal and you may want to see a doctor. :) have a good day !

  15. MLIAlovrrr says:

    That’s only if you move in with the wrong guy — the right guy will have farting contests with you…

  16. Jacky Faber: Midshipman, Fine Lady, and Lily of the West says:

    Ok, you see, if they ever felt comfortable around a guy or actually, more specifically, once they are AMAZINGLY committed to a guy and they are good with one another then she will be able to fart in front of an other guy.

  17. Serena Marie says:

    AHHHH CHARLIE I LOVE YOU u make my dayss lol everytime i read your letters i can’t help but smile you are soooo awesome and i’ve check every day for a new post plleasee don’t ever stop!!!

  18. Antoinette says:

    When you find a good man you don’t give it up! He laughs and farts back :)

  19. Alex says:

    There is a simple way to fix this, Charlie. If she farts, you fart even louder!

  20. Jahu311 says:

    You should buy noise cancelling earphones

  21. STAGirl says:

    Hey Charlie! I got to an all girls high school so I understand the annoying nonsense that girls spit out of their mouths. I think this is hilarious and true, so please do not stop writing!

  22. Sara says:

    Riddle me this: Popping a guy’s back zits is okay, but farting in front of a guy isn’t? I’m so confused.

  23. gorgeous,yet heartbroken says:

    its my birthday :D

  24. Allana says:

    im just waiting for the day they get smart and find this. lmao

  25. Kel says:

    Will everyone please vote for Charlie so he can pass Sarah Palin? PLEASE. How is she ranked above you?!?!

    • pb says:

      she’s got mostly no votes though, and charlie’s are mostly yes votes.

      • pb says:

        that was actually replying to a comment about sarah palin being above charlie on the time poll. no idea why it appeared on its own.

  26. Mea-chan says:

    Allow me to be offtopic for a moment. I enjoy reading the Defender’s comments.

  27. Amanda says:

    GREAT post for my birthday :)

  28. Liza. says:

    jesus, youre like a celebrity. only a matter of time before the girls above you find this. god help us all.

  29. Liza. says:

    jesus, youre like a celebrity. only a matter of time before the girls above you find this. god help us all ..

  30. Elin says:

    I missed you guys :(

  31. kayli says:

    do the GAM have twitter? because you might be in trouble…
    “So i was voting on the twitter top 140, and i noticed something strange…”
    “Yeah…The beibs isn’t on the list!”
    haha false alarm.

  32. Lonely Girl says:

    Farting in front of a guy…sounds like what my brother and I do everytime I visit him. Oh and Charlie, congrats on being nominated!

  33. Alicia says:

    And now, a limerick to express my feelings about this post:

    Once one of the girls let out some loud gas,
    And pronounced at the sound that came from her ass:
    She would never move in with a guy,
    She doesn’t want to have to be sly.
    If I was a guy I would pass.

  34. Kevin says:

    I guess it’s a good thing that I took the time to look at the comments on this… YOU HAVE MY VOTE, CHARLIE.

  35. Tammy says:

    Charlie you should shout “I’ve heard that” everytime she farts loudly! Cx

  36. flare says:

    Should I be concerned that my boyfriend is more embarrased about farting around me then I am around him? I’m not a pig about it or anything, its just part of the bodily functions to me.

  37. says:

    One day, they may find someone worth holding it in for, their words, not so much their body functions.

  38. Laura says:

    Do you think these two girls will ever find this page?



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