Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“Again, our stupid rent check was mailed back with the zip code circled! We live in 310 you idiots!” That’s our area code.

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  1. Spooxi says:

    The GAM are gorgeous,
    The prettiest girls alive.
    The problem is they’re so damn thick,
    They don’t remember where they live.

    Hehe, sorry, thunder-stealing again ….

    Dearie me … silly girls *grins*

  2. TJ says:

    That would explain why my pen pal hasn’t written back in the last 10 years…

  3. Mephistopheles says:

    Wow, they don’t know their own address.
    In Birtain we expect seven year olds to know their own address.

    I am in a special kind of awe at the moment.

    • Tegan says:

      I would say “In America, we do too.” But obviously, they’re skating along just fine.

    • Manda says:

      We were expected to know our address. We each had a little card with everything printed on it. I had to correct the teacher when it came to my zip code.

  4. Cheyenne says:

    Charlie, thank you for this website. Its made me smile in the darkest of times.

  5. Diana says:

    Once, when they do something particulalry stupid, you should actually send them one of these letters… See if they know who sent it, and they’re reaction would probably be really funny.

    • John says:

      “Dear Girls Above Me,”
      Hmm there’s not too many other people it could be. Although I doubt they’re smart enough to realize that.

  6. Holly says:

    I think the best part about this one is that they say “Again”. This is definitely not the first time it’s happened, and I’m not surprised.

  7. Heather says:

    I made that mistake once. I was 7.

  8. Leila says:

    You should leave a little post it note on their door letting them know the zip code, area code and the differences and applications for each. Just a little FYI for them. In case they ever need it. You should just tell them that you just had this “hunch” that they needed that information. Of course, you’d sign it “Anonymous all knowing friend” or something like that. :)

  9. Tegan says:

    Math is too much for the two girls above,
    This we expect, and and about them, we love,
    But obviously their super must not feel the same,
    Because time after time, the girl’s rent check came.
    But who would have guessed that their zip code was not
    Made up of three numbers? Even that seems alot,
    For the poor girls to learn…yes, they’re really not wise,
    But differences between brands they at least recognise.

    Hmm. I don’t like this one so much.

  10. Jess says:

    Wow, girls.
    I would love to see the reaction to a letter such as the aforementioned.

  11. Maddy says:

    wow wow wow

  12. Taylor D says:

    Pretty funny post for my birthday!:)

  13. Sarah says:

    Oh my gosh!! I’m so embarrassed- I just had to ask what the difference between a zip code and an area code was T.T

    • Bertie says:

      Don’t be!! I can’t say I know myself the difference, but I’m from Canada, we have postal codes for mail and area codes for the phone…

      • Tony says:

        Really? It’s the same system we use. The zip is your postal code, always five digits. Area codes are always three digits, and they’re for phones. At least for the American system. I’m pretty sure Canada uses the same framework though.

      • Janessa says:

        Canadian postal codes alternate between letters and numbers. It’s cute at Christmas; Santa’s postal code is H0H 0H0.

  14. Simmons says:

    how do they do their taxes…

    • angel says:

      wait. taxes? they need to first be a contributing member of society to do their taxes.

      I don’t know it anybody would want to hire these two. Remember that post on just wanting to be Charlie Sheen’s goddesses?

  15. Alex says:

    I was gonna say it was because these girls spend too much time on the computer, but then again, they probably don’t know how to use one.

    • SharksInSpace says:

      surely, they must be able to use a computer — they would be terribly remiss, not to be able to do any shopping “on the lines.”

  16. Sarah says:

    My mom just told me about a lady she works with that didn’t know what scallops were and I thought of the girls up above

  17. Melody says:

    I really want to have a talk with their parents. How in the world do they get area codes mixed up with zip codes?

  18. Mooshie says:

    You should tell them you did the same thing and then explain to them the problem :P

  19. LovelyLauren says:

    I’m guessing the girls never learned their location by song in elementary school…

  20. Kamella says:

    … *scrolls down page looking for The GAM defender* I gotta see what he’d say about this one.

  21. bunnyrut says:

    this should surprise me… but when i ask people for their areas codes at work they tell me their zip codes…

  22. PorscheLuvr says:

    …. Silly girls! =))

  23. Marie says:

    Ha. How do they find their way home?

  24. pb says:

    maybe the gam are king arthur from monty python’s holy grail, getting three and five mixed up all the time?

  25. GAM Defender says:

    Sorry for the delay, I had class.

    Anyway, dyslexia is a very common disorder and even the greatest minds have been known to have it or have traits similar to it. Carol W. Greider, for example, is a very famous molecular biologist and was awarded the 2009 Nobel Prize in Medicine. According to she exhibits traits of the disorder. Some other names mentioned were Walt Disney, George Washington, John R. Skoyles (a brain researcher), Cher, Thomas Jefferson, Jørn Utzon (designer of the Sydney Opera house), Jay Leno, and Pierre Curie (a physicist and 1903 Nobel Prize winner). Nelson Rockefeller has also been said to had been unable to memorize the alphabet at the age of 9. They may be the laughing stock now, but they could be tomorrow’s leaders in any number or fields.

    • Louisa says:

      Particularly in the field of being one of Charlie Sheens Goddesses.

    • Kamella says:

      What exactly are the traits of being dyslexic?

      • GAM Defender says:

        Well it’s a learning disorder. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, those with learning disabilities may have trouble listening or paying attention, speaking, reading, writing, and arithmetic. To be more specific with dyslexia in particular in regards to math skills, “People with dyslexia are often gifted in math. Their three-dimensional visualization skills help them “see” math concepts more quickly and clearly than non-dyslexic people. Unfortunately, difficulties in directionality, rote memorization, reading, and sequencing can make the following math tasks so difficult that their math gifts are never discovered.”

        It is possible they were never tested, or Charlie hasn’t heard about it yet or he simply hasn’t disclosed that information. Difficulty with understanding letters and numbers can also develop after a severe head injury- so they might not have dyslexia at all just a head injury. Which would explain how they got through school with their creative outlook on certain things.

      • Kamella says:

        Ok, GAM defender, I must ask, you’re very optimistic and seem to give us a different view of the girls… But do you really have this much faith in them?

      • Leila says:

        I have to point out, we have no evidence at all that they’re gifted in math. And if they were, wouldn’t you think they’d be great with ALL numbers? Cause then they wouldn’t really be having this problem of zip code vs. area code….

      • GAM Defender says:

        I think we have more evidence that suggests they have a learning disorder than otherwise. Besides, now that I look back on it, this isn’t really a math related issue. It’s simply recognizing number pattern that coincide with words such as zip code 90210 and area code 310. But anyway, they could very well be gifted in math. No, we don’t have any evidence, but a couple of the traits that get in the way of excelling in math are reading and sequencing.

    • Team Black. Siriusly. says:

      If they’re tomorrows leaders….we’re all doomed.

    • Caroline says:

      I am dyslexic to a significant extent. I have truble memorizing phone numbers. But I can tell the difference between area and zip codes. While dyslexia effects everyone slightly differently I also have spent time around other people with dyslexia and other learning disabilities. I have read many of these post and see no evidence that GMA have any sort of learning disability. They simply have never bothered to lern. I find your assumption offensive.

      • GAM Defender says:

        Well, I’m sure you know you can’t properly diagnose a learning disorder over the internet, nor can you rule it out. My cousin is very dyslexic and it was a very, very long time before she was properly diagnosed. And even if they just never took the time to learn it, it wouldn’t be their fault completely as much as it would be general parenting. I don’t really see how it would be very offensive as I wasn’t trying to make it sound like, “Oh they’re dumb, they’re just dyslexic.” Just offer a reasonable alternative because I don’t see productivity in insulting them.

      • GAM Defender says:

        Furthermore, I tried to shed a great deal of light on those who were dyslexic. Some of the greatest leaders in history have been thought to have the disability. I hardly see how all of those people couldn’t make up for a few less prominent individuals in society.

    • Caroline says:

      There is a very small chance that they both have learning disabilities. And while I can’t rule it out I see no evidence to suggest on in either girl you said, “I think we have more evidence that suggests they have a learning disorder than otherwise.” but I see none. And while you did say that many influential people have been dyslexic you did not seem to factor in why this is. Many dyslexics look at situations differently then most people in order to compensate for our disadvantages (if you call them that). Most of the successful dyslexics were visionaries (something these girls are not) that is why I believe there are so many famous dyslexics is some ways a ability to look at things from a different perspective is in fact an advantage if harnessed in the right way.

      • GAM Defender says:

        First off, that one line was mostly a joke, I’m not a trained professional in the subject, obviously. “you did not seem to factor in why this is.” I did not see a specific reason as why I should have. I’m not writing a thesis on dyslexia. I didn’t see any reason to educate people more on the matter than what was necessary for my point. It doesn’t matter why they’re prominent, if I was going to talk about why they were superior then discussing my theories on why that was would’ve been important. And I think you judge the girls way too harshly. You cannot decipher an entire person’s worth to a society just by reading several quotes of theirs in moments that were not their finest. You do not know if they’re visionaries or not, this site was not built on highlighting ingenious quotations of two general females in modern America.

        Irregardless, I think what I said is being taken far too seriously. I have a feeling I’ll be saying this a lot, but I’m not here to argue. I’ll reply if someone challenges me, but most of the stuff I say is extremely lighthearted. We’re not on the debate team, after all.

    • SharksInSpace says:

      i don’t see what being dyslexic has to do with not knowing the difference between a 5 digit zip code (9, if you use the full code) and a 3 digit area code.

      switch around the first and last numbers in the series? okay, you might be dyslexic. try and use my 608 area code in place of my 53703 zip code? nope; you’re just an idiot.

      • GAM Defender says:

        Ah, man, I know exactly what to say to this but I have class. Ah well, maybe if I remember when I get back.

      • Caroline says:

        SharksInSpace that is exactly what I was trying to say. Them mixing up area codes and zip codes is no bases for dyslexia. So while GAM Defender was not harsh on people with learning disabilities I think that it was wrong to bring it into the discussion because it is really unrelated to the fact that they don’t no the difference. And I do realize that this site is just them at there less intelligent moments but I just think that you shouldn’t have brought up dyslexia because it is unrelated.

  26. Alicia says:

    The girls need to learn the difference between the two codes,
    Or else they’re soon to be kicked out of their little abode.
    It’s happened before, it’s not the first time,
    They’re stupidy’s making me lose my mind.
    Unless you want this blog to end,
    You’ve got to help them, Charlie, my friend.
    If they don’t pay their rent, they’ll be kicked out,
    Which means they’re not there for you to write about.

  27. Sara says:

    Wait, she called some one else an idiot? That’s classic.

  28. Amy says:

    They should move to Beverly Hills. I’m pretty sure they’re at least aware of the zip code 90210.

  29. Jacky Faber: Midshipman, Fine Lady, and Lily of the West says:

    …SSSSOOOOO many questions. O.o

  30. Kitehailstorm says:

    I would love it if when either they or you moved out, you give them these letters. All of them. On their doorstep. And tape the fun. I mean…. They need to know at some point.

  31. Matt says:

    they don’t need to know where they live…drunk boys use their magic phones to find out how to get them home for some…ummm…sexy things.

  32. adi says:

    How are they ever going to learn if everyone just makes fun of them when they don’t know something rather than helping them out? I think maybe all the degrading comments and self-righteous attitudes are the decline of society, and not those girls.

  33. Sam says:

    Yesterday, somebody came in to the restaurant where I worked and asked what the area code was. My employee and I both tried to think of the zip code instead (I live in a city where every 3 miles is a slightly different zip code.

    So yeah, I can’t think of myself as a superior being to the girls this time.

    • Lynn R says:

      There’s a big difference in calling something the wrong name and not being able to fathom the entire concept. I bet when you dial a long distance phone number you’ve never,ever, EVER started dialing the number by using with your 5 digit zip code!

  34. DoraTonks10 says:

    Hahahahahahaha I love that this is my entertainment during school hours. Thank you Charlie.

  35. Lonely Girl says:

    Oh wow, I’m in awe! I swear you have to try to be this dumb!

  36. Rayne says:

    ._. How do they order a pizza or take out?

  37. GinnyPotter says:

    The zip code probably has to many numbers for them.

  38. GinnyPotter says:

    Does anyone know what Z-I-P stands for anyway? 10 imaginary points to the correct answer!

    • Moomintroll says:

      How about bonus points for the best wrong answer.
      I’m going to go for Zebra Infiltration Point. You really have to watch out for those pesky ninja zebras.

      • GinnyPotter says:

        you win :) do you read cause you should.

      • Moomintroll says:

        I do on occasion, but it’s not as good as it used to be. It actually used to live up to its title but these days its just “wow look at this amazing and totally unexpected or unlikely thing that has happened to me” =P

      • GinnyPotter says:

        haha ya but dinosaur chicken nuggets are still the best <3 lol

    • GAM Defender says:

      Zone Improvement Plan as far as I know.

  39. PorscheLuvr says:

    Wait, there is a difference between Area Codes, and Zip Codes????

  40. bobbiegirl says:

    I pray to God this entry is made up. I was forced to leran the difference between area code and zip code in kindergarten.

  41. Nathan says:

    You’re in SoCal? Always figured this for a new york sort of thing.

  42. Stock Market says:

    Stock Market…

    I have found an nice blog on the Stock Market….

  43. Anon says:

    no way, im 310 also.



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