Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“I hate St. Paddy’s Day cause I look fat in green, although getting pinched secretly turns me on.” I live under you, it’s no secret.

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  1. Elizabeth says:

    That’s pretty much all they talk about right? Aside from not knowing what to do in the most basic of situations, haha.

  2. Alessandra says:

    Chronicling their life and secretes, one stupid quote at a time.

  3. Taylor D says:

    Haha, happy St. Patrick’s Day to you Charlie and to all the awesome people who comment here as well!

  4. Trippetta says:

    Well they could always wear a green thong, or bra. Then that would make their assets (and breastests) more appealing ;)

  5. Margret says:

    St. Paddys day? Oh wow………..

  6. Deirdre says:

    I guess that’s a legitimate reason to hate St. Patrick’s Day‚Ķ Who am I kidding? That’s completely shallow.

  7. cheerdiva800 says:

    Just when you think they can’t get any shallower….

  8. Leila says:

    Nobody said they had to wear an entire outfit that’s green. That’s why there are accessories.

    But I do feel sorry for you, Charlie, when they have guys over. Do you ever just escape to someplace else or put ear plugs in?

    • Moomintroll says:

      Why would you want to escape it when it results in such giggles!

      • Leila says:

        When guys come over??? Why would you want to listen to them getting it on?

      • kari says:

        I love your name! It makes me smile, moomins ftw!

      • Moomintroll says:

        I’m just saying, they are so redonkulously retarded I’d be surprised if they can even work out how to get their undies off.

        Besides, if they manage to get to the act, they probably say hilarious things during.

        And yes, moomins ftw!

    • GAM Defender says:

      They’re the kind of girls that go all out when they do things, accessories won’t do. Why would they give a mere hand job when they’re to type to go all out and give a blow job? I wish my girlfriend was like that…

      • Trippetta says:

        Do you ever return the favor? Perhaps she’s be more willing to “go all out” if you would too.

  9. Lucie says:

    I’m not going to bother asking about the pinching part…
    but as long as they don’t ask Charlie if they look fat in an outfit, then he should be okay =]

  10. Jacky Faber: Midshipman, Fine Lady, and Lily of the West says:

    Oh my, there are just so many things wrong with this one post. But seeing as I’m Irish, this is slightly offending, spelling St. Patrick’s Day wrong that is. And green is the best color ever!!! ^^ They don’t know what they are talking about. But I do agree that green accessories help people out when they don’t want to wear green clothing. Ah well. Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! :)

    • GAM Defender says:

      Nicknames do not classify as spelling a name wrong.

    • Megan says:

      Actually, Paddy is the male spelling for the nickname for Patrick, Patty is the female spelling (like short for Patricia.) So, Charlie was right.

    • Jacky Faber: Midshipman, Fine Lady, and Lily of the West says:

      Sorry, just got ahead of myself there. Was thinking that the GAM did it. Haha. Charlie having said it makes it all better. :)

  11. Tigerr says:

    To quote a stranger from Omegle: ‘Casual racism and light bdsm ftw!’

  12. maria says:

    i loathe being tickled.

  13. Sarah says:

    You should pinch her…

  14. Miekeala says:

    Haha thanks for posting this Charlie. I have been vomiting every half hour due to the flu so this brightened my day, considering how stupid the things they say are. :)

  15. Lola says:

    You guys all strike me as the type of people who will wear fully colour themed outfits on holidays…am i right??

  16. Chelsea says:

    You truly don’t need to wear all green or whatever. A green sticker or a four-leaf clover drawn on the back of your hand cuts it for most people.

  17. Kamella says:

    No, no, see they need to do what I did and where an “I like irish boys” shirt. It’s not completely green, only hints.

  18. anjaaa says:

    am i the only one whose not irish here?

  19. Jillian says:

    I was pinched in Ireland. Not on St. Patty’s Day.

  20. GinnyPotter says:

    how does an anorexic size -2 look fat in any color?!

  21. Alex says:

    Nothing’s a secret when your floor is paper thin and you live above Charlie McDowell.

  22. sheila says:

    I was looking for someone to pinch at school today, but everyone I saw was either wearing green or I didn’t know who they were. It made me sad. ): But of course I could count on the girls and Charlie to make St. Patty’s day all better again… plus the yummy cupcake with green sprinkles I bought. :)

  23. Holly says:

    Oh man. Thats why I kept getting weird looks today. Not because I was wearing green but because I looked fat. Thank you!

  24. KimeeFace says:

    I was unaware that a color could make someone look fat….I thought people looked fat when they’re fat.

  25. Katrina says:

    I don’t know why you call them shallow, they aren’t talking about how ginger midgets turn them on now are they?

  26. Macy says:

    In the midst of finals week, reading these posts is probably not a good idea. Especially since I feel my IQ dropping with every quote GAM make. Haha.
    Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! :)

  27. Bri says:

    Charlie, I’ve often wondered- do you have trouble picking only the dumbest things these girls say? Cause I’ve noticed you usually only post about once a day, and for some reason I picture these girls as talking a lot…

  28. Kevin says:

    Later that night, Charlie passed one of the GAM twin’s in the hall, and pinched them, giving a sly wink. Oh Charlie, you dog!

  29. Lonely Girl says:

    Ha! Oh poor Charlie, you’re such a saint for putting up with these two. You should have your own day “St. Charlie’s day”

  30. Christina says:

    Hahahaha poor girl. she doesn’t realise that all her secrets are displayed online for the world to see XD

  31. Kristin says:

    St.Patricks Day is my birthday!

  32. Lexieliciuoss says:

    they are bi-winning.

  33. Just Realized says:

    If the girls ever find out about this website, then their identities will most likely become known, and then random men will be pinching them all the time.

  34. Alicia says:

    She secretly likes being pinched on St. Paddy’s,
    And when she wears green, claims she looks like a fatty.
    You have no secrets when your floor is so thin,
    You gave up that right the day you moved in.
    You may think that no one cares what you say,
    But alas, your followers grow more every day.

    • Tegan says:

      These girls think they’re fat,
      so they never wear green
      Why one likes being pinched,
      remains to be seen
      You’d think they’d love St. Paddy’s,
      They enjoy drinking alot,
      But I guess it’s not worth it
      if their image’s not hot.

      Heh. You’re still the master, my newbie poetry can’t compare.

  35. Dwezel1987 says:

    I was suspended back in highschool for punching a kid that pinched me for not wearing green.

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