Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“Shit fucks! I pocket dialed my gyno while I was hooking up with Ryan!” Look on the bright side, I bet he’ll see you tomorrow now.

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  1. Jenny says:

    First! And I gotta say, made my day, thanks Charlie!!!

  2. Sophie says:

    “shit fucks” really? that’s a terrible use of words.

  3. jjj says:

    oops, no more lying on the patient history form.

  4. Charlie McDowell says:

    My life is like one long pocket dial.

  5. Sara says:

    Uh….does she go to the doctor that much that she has him programmed into her phone?

  6. casey k says:

    i feel like we share a life, i have an idiot sister in the room next to me. i think she is the same breed as the GAM’s.

    • Ellen says:

      MY SISTER IS LIKE THAT TOO! I showed her this site and she said ‘well, they aren’t THAT bad!’

  7. ASchmalz says:

    oh, thank you for that Charlie.

    (is it sad if this is the highlight of my day??)

  8. Lock says:

    Reminds me of Kainé. So in addition to their funny quotes, you also get to hear this? Does it wake you up at night?

  9. Cait says:

    You’re poor IQ must be dropping every time they open their mouths. Both my sisters are like this, thank god I no longer live with or near them. 1,500 miles is still not enough sometimes.

  10. says:

    Did they mean Fuck Socks?

  11. Trina says:

    Oh my goodness, I REALLY hope this doesn’t keep you up at night Charlie… But really?? “Shit fucks”?? O_o…

  12. Christina says:

    Shit fucks? hahaha who says that? XD

  13. o.odionnx3 says:

    I really wanna sleepover with you just to listen to their strange ramblings :/

  14. alexaluvs says:

    I doubt this surprised him, he has seen her nether regions and it might have even cleared a few things up for him

  15. Kayla says:

    Phew, Charlie you’re back! I thought you had taken that whole disowned thing seriously lol.

  16. Haley says:

    Why was her phone this close to her while “with ryan”????

  17. Alessandra says:

    Well now, that’s just pure luck.

  18. Jillian says:

    I’m surprised she had clothes on during her hook-up with Ryan to make the dial happen. Atta girl, keepin’ her morals straight.

  19. Alicia says:

    Shit fucks. I haven’t written a poem for the other post yet…I’m behind.

  20. Cygnus says:

    Too many thoughts to process……
    So what it the etiquette if you are a gynecologist who is butt dialed while your patient is in the process of using the equipment you service? Do you hang up? Listen for any strange noises like a mechanic trying to diagnose a problem w/ the engine?

    How long did it take this poor beleaguered medical professional to figure out this was not an emergency call but instead a promo audio.

    Did a receptionist take the call? If so is this grounds to sue their employer for harassment? They at least deserve a raise or combat pay.

    And Shit Fucks… who says that? It sounds like a mid-40’s screen writer trying to be hip w/ the youngsters. So many unanswered questions, so many giggles.

  21. bri says:

    i butt dial all the time!

  22. AmyD says:

    I just want to know how one has the phone that close while “hooking up” with someone? and why would you care that you dialed the gyno? I mean it’s better than say…..Dad, who we know from an earlier post, definitely doesn’t need another glimpse into her sex life!

  23. LovelyLauren says:

    Okay this post kinda just brightened my night a little bit. My boyfriend just broke up with me and this got me to smile a little.

  24. Shay says:

    Poor gy/obn office….

  25. Sarah says:

    Can I live in the apartment below you and hear what you say?

  26. Halestorm says:

    I mean… shit fucks? I say “Oooh shit fuck” cause I heard it in that reel big fish song and giggled uncontrollably. But yeah, pocket dialing during a hook up is somewhat sketchy, what’s the point of a hook up if clothes are still on! No fun!

  27. TaylorDanielle! says:

    Ohhh goodness(:
    Read this one outloud, along with several others, today before my soccer game. We were all laughing, and I’m sure some of my friends’ll be reading now! :D
    And we won our game! And I scored! So definitely reading more DGAM before the next game. (:

  28. Ellie says:

    What was Ryan thinking??

  29. Tyler says:

    just found this through Stumble and have told ALL of my friends.
    please write books or something. very clever!

  30. Grammar Police says:

    “Shit fucks!” Is not a complete sentence, what exactly is the shit fucking?

  31. Fermata says:

    Theres so much cussing today, gawsh o.O

  32. Jess says:

    Lol. Charlie, you make my day. I have obsessively stalked this site since I saw it on MLIA. o.0

  33. Lonely Girl says:

    Well perhaps he can make a diagnosis from that…
    *shoves EvilLonelyGirl back into her corner* Sorry about that folks.

  34. Tigerr says:

    From ShitMyDadSays: “They’re offended? Fuck, shit, asshole, shitfuck; they’re just words…Fine. Shitfuck isn’t a word, but you get my point.” I think I’ve suddenly grown quite partial to the girls above you… xD

  35. Sets of usefull info and inspiration , both of which we all need , thanks for this….

  36. Alicia says:

    You pocket dialed your gyno while hooking up with Ryan,
    When listening on the other end I’m sure she was slowly dying.
    She probably gave you the earliest appointment she could possibly book,
    That’s what you get for calling her in bed while you shook.

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  38. Claire says:

    ……Having your gynologist on speed dial is normal….. right?

  39. This can be definitely fantastic news. Thank you for sharing it with us!…



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