Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
Feb

15

“We deserve Academy Awards for pretending Valentine’s Day never happened!” Or for when you cried because it was Valentine’s Day.

Feb

13

“My throat hurts, but Whitney would want us to sing on…AND I WILL ALWAYS–” When I die, everyone will know my cause of death.

Feb

10

“Dear Eva Mendes, please die so I can be with Ryan Gosling on Valentines Day.” Hey, only I’m allowed to write rhetorical letters.

Feb

08

“The news says that Proposition 8 was overturned. What does overturned mean?! Quick, turn on Ellen!” It means she’s happy.

Feb

03

“Helmets ruin the Super Bowl for me when all they really do is hide Tom Brady’s gorgeous face.” Concussions are SO overrated.

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