Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
Jan

21

I changed my wireless name from ‘JonStamosCondo’ to ‘GerardButlerPad.’ “Do you think he bought it from Stamos? Hottest sale ever!”

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  1. Angieissocoollike says:

    FIRST COMMENT

    LOLOLOLOLOL

  2. jon says:

    Second!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Charlie McDowell says:

    I think I’m only gonna have Gerard Butler “live” in the building a few months. Who should move in next?

    • Angieissocoollike says:

      Micheal Jackson, they wouldn’t realise he’s dead.

    • Justin says:

      Go with one of the dudes from the Jersey Shore.

    • Kara says:

      Zac Efron

    • Taylor D says:

      Johnny Depp.

    • Kelly says:

      Taylor Lautner, make them feel like they would have to praise your apartment.

    • YouSirAreAnIdiot says:

      Harry Potter. See if they realize.

      • Death Eater says:

        It might confuse Voldemort, too… I apologise in advance if my Lord attempts to kill you, Charlie.

    • Sophie says:

      I’d go with Taylor Launtner or Kevin Jonas (or Joe Jonas). Some super recognizable name of some young hotshot actor/singer. Chri Brown? lol?

    • GStarr says:

      The GAM named Claire starts acting strangely- her roomate notices, and wonders what is up, and why Claire has started wearing fake eyelashes everytime she goes out the door. Claire is keeping a huge secret from her dearest friend. The fact is, Claire knows her roomate is hotter than her- but she also knows Gerard Butler lives in their building. Excited, and wanting to hook up with the star, her weird behaviour escalates, and she becomes the reason why Herve Leger Bandage Dresses are still making huge amounts of money. Finally, just as she begins to doubt her wireless networking, she sees a glimpse of someone from behind- he wears a tacky shirt, and his awful haircut is streaked with gray. His regrettable moobs are visible even from behind. She shrieks and faints with surprise. She wakes up— and there, with her roomate in his untoned, flabby arms, stands who she thinks is Gerry. Then she wakes up- and it was all a dream. Viola :D I love doing that— and it was all a dream…

      • Maria says:

        “oh, sheesh y’all, t’was a dream!”xDDDDD

      • GStarr says:

        Exactly my dear, exactly *strokes chin in a wise and knowing manner*. Ooh that reminded me- does anyone want another ‘just a dream story’? Hmmm probably not. I will post one then. A short one.
        The old kungfu master stood in tree position at the edge of the canyon. He focused his thoughts, then looked over the edge, feeling like he was floating, simply floating, on air. That was the last thing he felt. The next moment he felt a stab of pain, through the small of his back and out through his stomach. The last thing he saw before he fell, fell to his death a thousand feet below, was the red of his blood, gushing out of the wound, as he fell slowly, without pain, as if he were still floating. Then he woke up, crumpled into a heap on the floor. He was clutching his tummy, and then he realised… it was all a dream.
        Viola :D

    • Jenny says:

      Definetly Fergie, Taboo or Will.I.Am or maybe a combination like FergieandTaboosLoveNest :P

    • Carmen says:

      Ryan Reynolds. Can’t pass up on People’s Sexiest Man of the Year.

    • Hermione Granger says:

      Totally Johnny Depp!!!!

  4. Megzalot says:

    Orlando Bloom ;)

  5. April says:

    Bradley Cooper :)

  6. Dayna says:

    By the way, nice bowtie Charlie! I got so excited when I saw you in this picture!

    http://rooney-mara.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=144&pos=14

  7. Alicia says:

    I say your next wireless name should be “shutthellupalready”.

    • Maddi says:

      As stupid as they are, I’m pretty sure everyone here would cry if they shut up for good. Where would we get our daily humor?!

  8. Lizzy says:

    Go for the Ashton!

    • Emma says:

      agreed.

    • Britt says:

      wouldn’t make sense without Demi and being married might hurt his real life desirability factor (he’s hot to look at but really who would even try to go against Demi, she’s hotter at forty than most twenty-somethings!). John Mayer or Shia Labeouf might be viable alternatives.

  9. Jacky Faber: Midshipman, Fine Lady, and Lily of the West says:

    Lol. Omg, they are so ditzy. But then that’s a good thing for then there would be no humor. >.< As for the "live" in…Ryan Reynolds. ^^

    • The Alley Cat says:

      I agree with you wholeheartedly, my young pirate queen! Ryan Reynolds would be awesome. ^.^

      • Jacky Faber: Midshipman, Fine Lady, and Lily of the West says:

        I can’t believe I didn’t check back til now! You know Jacky Faber?! And then just agreeing about Ryan is just added points. >.< New Friend!!

  10. Lizzzzzz says:

    Got out of my last exam to go home and find this. Day. Made.
    How about Brad Pitt? although then they might be suspicious when there aren’t 6 screaming children around…

  11. Anonymous Hippopotamus says:

    Screech! JK… how about Mario Lopez?

  12. Matt says:

    Change your wireless name to: deargirlsaboveme.com

    http://1001awfulthings.com/the-top-1001

  13. Theresa says:

    Very random, but I think if Ryan Reynolds had a bear like you do he kinda resembles you.

  14. Theresa says:

    Ack! That was meant to say beard not bear…but bear sounds more intriguing. :)

    • Death Eater says:

      I was disappointed when I found out you meant beard. I wanted to know more about Charlie getting a bear…

  15. Alicia says:

    These girls are so gullible
    That it is hysterical.
    It’s so unbelieveable,
    It’s plain inconcievable,
    That they could be any less knowledgeable,
    Their minds and mouths are unstopable.
    I highly doubt they’re sociable,
    Because they’re not understandable.
    Their stupidity is astoundable
    And…that’s all I have that’s rhymeable.

  16. Don't Warn the Tadpoles says:

    Hannibal Lecter should move in next.

  17. Kamella says:

    I say have “Gylley” move in next.

  18. Kayla says:

    Charlie, when you replied to my comment from yesterday I felt like God was talking to me.

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      Trust me, my voice isn’t that deep.

      • Santana says:

        You should go up to your vents and put on your God voice, “Those shoes do not match your bag,”.

        I would say that they might have a religious identity crisis, but I think it’s more like that they would start watching 7th Heaven reruns.

      • Leila says:

        That would be the best!!! You should totally do it! I’m sure the blueprints to your building are available somewhere….

    • Sophie says:

      oh. there’s that voice again ;)

  19. Kenzie says:

    Incredably asinine. You should have Cathy and Claire move in, since that’s not their real names.

  20. Ashley says:

    You should have Jon Stamos move back in and then keep switching between him and Gerard Butler.

  21. ASchmalz says:

    Ummm… Justin Bieber, someone from Jersey Shore, (sorry don’t know their names), or Ryan Seacrest… My vote would be for Ryan.

  22. Shelly says:

    I say have Ian Somerhalder from the Vampire Diaries move in.

  23. Sam =] says:

    Why not Justin Timberlake. You could raise their whining to write about for a while. How they thought maybe they could finally get a chance to have his babies… Just a random thought.

  24. Nemesis says:

    Definitely go with “Glylly!” Haha. (Spelling?)

  25. Alesha says:

    Holy Cheese Itz! I say you have as R Patts (oh god… I just say R Patts…..)

    Also, first time commenter, all the time stalker, erm, I mean, lurker. Yes…. lurker.

  26. ChelsLynn says:

    ROFL Alesha… I think we all are. I third Glylly!!!!

  27. Taylor says:

    Haha this is brilliant! Although I have to say, I’d be rather excited if I thought John Stamos or Gerard Butler had moved into my apartment building :)

  28. blahblah says:

    …hi :D

  29. Lequia says:

    First off, I’m glad that Hannibal Lecter wants to stay in AZ. Secondly, I vote for Ian Somerhalder or Timberlake to move in as well.

    Third, DEAR GOD ABOVE ME!! Why do I keep feeling like I see you when I go places?!? (Went out for dinner tonight and one of the waiters, I swear, looked like he have been you!!) :/

  30. A Knight Who Says NI says:

    Can I move in next?

  31. Cheyenne says:

    Keanu Reeves? Or should it not be an overly famous star? Wait…. Jesse James and Kat Von D (spelling?)

  32. Rose says:

    micky mouse

  33. Dwezel says:

    Have someone else change theirs to Monica L. Than make yours Bill C.

  34. Cygnus says:

    I think you should have a famous designer move in next. Maybe Marc Jacobs, or Zac Posen. Watching them stalk the building and hearing them scheme about how to score original samples would be priceless.

  35. Dwezel says:

    Then* (I caught it Grammar Nazis)

  36. Sarah says:

    Would they catch on if you made it Heath Ledger? Because I loved that man

  37. Elle says:

    hahahaha that’s hilarious!!

    http://didimakeamess.tumblr.com/

  38. Kayli says:

    I’m thinking we go with the hot teacher from ‘glee’.

  39. Philip says:

    George W. Bush should move in.

  40. Aquari'elle says:

    Just “Stumbled” across this, and it made my day. definitely bookmarking this!!x

  41. Abigail says:

    Just found this website, and I think I’m in love. Clearly “Charlie McDowell” is the author/celebrity/god of this, so thank you Charlie, for a rather enteratining page.
    Oh, and I’d suggest having Chuck Norris move in.

  42. Jillian says:

    You should change it to Gylly. Now that he’s done with Swifty they have a shot.

  43. Liz says:

    Who is Gylly and what is a Swifty?

    Also, I second Justin Timberlake.

  44. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by broadwaybaby22, sgnewsfeed. sgnewsfeed said: 2011-01-21: I changed my wireless name from ‘JonStamosCondo’ to ‘GerardButlerPad.’ “Do you… http://goo.gl/fb/DR51X […]

  45. Kayla says:

    This website makes me hate weekends. No new posts :(

  46. Alayna says:

    waldo. And I bet they would still never find him.

  47. KimeeFace says:

    I say Ted Bundy. That one might frighten and confuse them all at once.

    • Liz says:

      but would they know who Ted Bundy was? Knowing these girls, they might think he’s a shoe salesman with a really trashy (but still funny) family.

  48. Henry says:

    A Kardashian?

  49. Alicia says:

    I just thought I’d say that my friends asked me to go see No Strings Attached with them yesterday, and then gave me really wierd looks when I started laughing.

    • Sarah says:

      My boyfriend wants to see it ’cause he “likes” Natalie Portman and I always giggle a little when the commercials show up and he gives me a look that he wants to go.

  50. Leila says:

    I second (or is that triple or fourth?) the Mario Lopez suggestion. It would be amazing to have Orlando Bloom or someone like that, but you have to remember the believability factor. Would he really move into a place like that? Really? Someone from the Glee cast is much more likely, seeing as many of them are/were living in apartments together.

    But anyone big who makes an appearance should only be there for a short while. Cause it would really be a temporary place.

    But I think you should have fun with them with designers, Charlie. That would really get them going. Like, “ZacPosen’sCreationPad” or something like that. Yeees. :)

  51. Becca says:

    During the summer, Santa should move in. Global warming is probably screwing up his workshop anyway.

  52. unkmar says:

    Zachary Levi

  53. Bella says:

    I don’t know. I would go for Gylly, Johnny Depp, Timberlake, or Ryan Reynolds

  54. marosinfos says:

    ted bundy

  55. Lily says:

    Joseph Gordon Levitt

    • Angie says:

      OMG! I would move it then– I mean Charlie and JGL? That’s just to much down-to-earth celebrity power in one apartment building. It might not actually balance out the ridiculous-not-celebrity power from above, though.

  56. Good Kharma keeps the wheel turning…

    (…) My blog is PR2, click my source link and you will get a dofollow link there upon approval! Let’s share the Google love! (…)…

  57. Laura says:

    ok i must say gerard butler is extremely hot but i think you should go with Kellan Lutz next time haha

  58. This is brilliance! love it! ….

  59. LV Handbag says:

    Finicky article, finicky blog, I give rise to bookmarked your blog, it is worthy responsibility this. Thank you….

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