Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.
 
 
 
 
 
Jan

20

I don’t normally weigh in on your fights, but “whose hypothetical older brother would be hotter” is serious stuff. Sorry Claire.

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  1. cheerdiva says:

    Hahahahaha! I read these everyday, and these girls never cease to amaze me…. Thanks for making me laugh, Charlie! :)

  2. Alicia says:

    Cuh-lair? That’s a fat girl name.

    It’s a family name!

  3. Other Ben says:

    Heavy stuff man.

  4. Sarah says:

    While I doubt the legitimacy of these, they still amuse me.

  5. Walker says:

    We could also argue whose hypothetical older sister would be smarter.

  6. Kenzie says:

    Fantastically idiotic. Do you have any siblings Charlie?

  7. Anna Recsik says:

    What is this I don’t even.

    • Sasquatch says:

      dats mi liyne
      hi im 12 wat is diz

      • Anna Recsik says:

      • Sasquatch says:

        dnt … me u smelly gurl go awae*~

      • Anna Recsik says:

        How dare you!

        I’ll have you know that in the year of 1994, many moons ago, I was traveling abroad in Indonesia for work matters. Wanting to soak up local culture, I visited an Indonesian flee market, intending on only staying briefly.
        HOWEVER, as I browsed the stands the aroma of fresh tulips lured me to one particular vendor. She was short in height, but not in trickery. Soon she had managed to put me in an almost hypnotic state, her having almost complete control of my actions. Soon enough, I found myself arms-full in merchandise from her shop, but without any recollection of how it got there.
        She stood in front of me, a sly smile on her face, her palm outstretched eagerly, and waiting for payment. I gazed at her momentarily, trying to recall how I had got to this point in time. After a few dazed seconds, I spoke.
        “I’m sorry, Miss. I don’t think I’ll be purchasing your things today.” Then I replaced the things to her table but couldn’t help but catch a sneaky smile that reeked of trickery on her face.
        Soon again, I felt myself in a dazed atmosphere. My head clouded and when it cleared again, I had all of the strange woman’s merchandise in my arms once again, and she stared at me with that deceiving smile, her hand outreached for payment once again.
        I dared speak once more “I’m sorry. This is all truly lovely merchandise, miss, but I’m afraid I have no money.”
        After all this time, the woman finally spoke. Her scratchy deep voice threw me off. I was convinced that an elderly woman of such stature would have high brittle vocals, but deceived I was. “Oh my dear, don’t worry about the money. It’s no problem. Just take it all. I’m an elderly woman; I have no purpose for these things anymore.”
        I hesitantly put the old woman’s possessions in my leather satchel, mumbling my grateful thank yous.
        I was preparing to leave when she spoke again, “Oh but dear, I do ask a favor. Seeing as I’ve done you good today, perhaps you could do something in return. My dream has always been to open a tea parlor. Do you think you could try this recipe?”
        She held out a cup of steaming tea. Eager to escape her presence, I quickly downed the beverage.
        A menacing laugh roared through out the market. “FOOL!” she shouted. “You should have just purchased the items the first time they wound up in your arms! You brought this revenge upon yourself!”
        I stared at her horrified. Mumbling and stuttering pleas for an explanation.
        She continued in her booming, thunderous voice, “A curse, my dear, of the oldest Indonesian witchery has been bestowed upon you! I put it in the tea! Fear the consequences! If you are not the smelliest girl on the interwebz each week you will wake the day after a DGAM post to find that you have lost control of you bowels and shit such an amount that your family has drowned in the feces and have already started decomposing into your fecal matter!”
        And with that, she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

        SO, Mr. Sasquatch, that is why I always smell.

      • brandt parke says:

        lol wtf at the GAM and anna’s story…

      • 500 Days of Kissing My Pillow says:

        Her stories are the best.
        500daysofkissingmypillow.tumblr.com
        Please contact me there, Floutsy/Ann. :)

      • Sasquatch says:

        lol u tlk 2 much u smellieh gurl*~

      • Versace says:

        WHAT IS GOING ON HERE LOL

      • A Knight Who Says NI says:

        Anna Recsik, I adore you for taking the time to post that splendid tale.

      • Britt says:

        Anna, that story was bomb shit. (pun intended? maybe ;) point is, you amuse me, keep it up.

    • a guy named John says:

      I can’t believe you bothered to type out all of this

  8. Emily says:

    High five Charlie

  9. Versace says:

    OMG LOL

  10. Jhudora says:

    Good sites, good commentry.
    Alicia & Anna stand out to me tho. :)

  11. Sarah says:

    Ohhh my gosh. Anna. Is. My. Hero.

  12. Spinx says:

    *falls on floor in fits of hysterics*
    Brilliant stuff Charlie.

    And Anna … *giggle snorts*

  13. Lola says:

    Just what we need, a troll trolling a troll.

  14. Breanna says:

    First time reader, you are amazing.

  15. Katrina Mei says:

    XD!
    I scroll down the comments and see a big large comment that is actually a story!
    Loved it LOL. <33

  16. Charlie McDowell says:

    Is it weird that I feel like I know you guys?

    • A Knight Who Says NI says:

      My daily routine consists of coming to this site, trying to understand what the girls could possibly mean and finally reading hilarious, pathetic and just plain bizarre fan comments. This page is really a staple part of my day now.

      • Hannibal Lecter says:

        ecky ecky ecky ptang zoop boing zoo zow zing!

      • Britt says:

        your alien babble confuses me. just saying.

      • Hannibal Lecter says:

        It’s not alien babble. It’s the babble of the Knights who until recently said NI!

      • Rosie says:

        Firstly, you must find another shrubbery! Then when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery–only slightly higher so you get the two level effect with a little path going down the middle. Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring!

        (I may or may not know this by heart.)

      • Hannibal lecter says:

        You must bring me… A shrubbery! A nice one, but not too expensive.

      • A Knight Who Says NI says:

        NNNNNNIIII!

        You must cut down a tree with a….herring!

    • Angieissocoollike says:

      No, it’s awesome. What’s weird is that we know the girls above you better than we know you!

    • Alicia says:

      Nah. I feel the same way. One day I’ll throw a party for all of us cool people.

    • Me says:

      Is it sad I peruse the comments only looking for Charlie’s rhetoric?

    • Lequia says:

      LOL
      *warm fuzzies*

    • Theresa says:

      Nope, because I feel like i know all the people who comment too. :D

    • GStarr says:

      In a previous life, we all lived in a commune of hippies. We would not let ourselves talk to each other, so our only way of communication was scrawling runes into the dirt, or with clay onto rocks. That is why we resort to this unspoken manner to communicate even in this reincarnation. It feels like you know us- because you do know us. Don’t you remember me Charlie? My name was Bonnie, and I was the best in the commune at catching fish. If I remember, Alicia was the commune rune-writer.

  17. Rebecca says:

    You are amazing. That is all.

  18. Tati says:

    I’m in love with this website. Your commentary is absolutely hilarious. Be my best friend, please.<3

  19. Melody says:

    I <3 this. So. Effing. Much. The comment page just as much as the girl's lack of IQ.

  20. Angieissocoollike says:

    Flight of the conchords, anyone?

  21. Liz says:

    Charlie your site always brightens my day, it’s hilarious. I am espescially happy there was a post on my birthday!

  22. Christina says:

    Charlie, have you ever tried shouting a response back at the girls through your ceiling/ their floor? They would probably think you were crazy but still, I’m curious to see what would happen XD

    • Angieissocoollike says:

      They’re response would be, “OMG is that gay hairy hobo is talking to us!?”

      Oh and BTW, I don’t think your a gay hairy hobo, it’s just based on the things they say :D

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      I bang on my ceiling sometimes, but that was back in the day when I wasn’t writing “letters” to them. Can’t have them shut up now.

  23. Angieissocoollike says:

    Do they know about this site? You should interview them!! Dedicate it to Angie and say it was her idea :D

  24. Nemesis says:

    I read this site all the time and it brightens my day. Alicia- love the poems! Anna- hilarious story. Haha. Keep doing what you do Charlie! :)

  25. DrGuz says:

    What luck, the one day I click thru to comments on a whim, I’m rewarded with this glorious rebuttal by Anna Recsik. Reminds me of the 2006-12-24 Peanuts strip (comics.com/peanuts/2006-12-24/).

  26. Sarah says:

    Hmm. I read this every day and barely comment. I kinda feel left out

  27. KirstenMarii says:

    For the record, I think you’re a gay, hairy, hobo, Charlie.

  28. Angie says:

    OMG. Best post ever. My friends were having the same discussion today (no joke), and I have a fan on a website that is not mine (shout out to Angieissocool!). Now if only I could find some cookies…

    • Angieissocoollike says:

      sorry to disappoint, but I’m not a fan! Haha my name is Angie too :) basically it’s like Charlieissocoollike (on youtube) but… Angieissocoollike! :D

  29. IciaNemesis says:

    You should alicia.

  30. Cheesecake and sexy says:

    Charlie, you make College life so much more enjoyable

  31. Kamella says:

    How old are the girls? Seriously?

  32. africanandeuropeanswallow says:

    I freakin love this site. Makes my day

  33. Philip says:

    I too read this everyday, but I have never commented. This truly is a great site. I try to share it with my wife, but she doesn’t find it very funny.

  34. YouSirAreAnIdiot says:

    What do you think would happen if they found out?

    • Emily says:

      What I truly want to know is are they as stupid as he makes them out to be? Are they trust fund babies or does he just live in a craptastic apartment?

  35. Xtina says:

    I was yogurtland and over heard a pair of blonde bimbos chatting away talking about “how soft poodle fur must feel, but like, it’s not like I’m Cruella De Ville or anything. Ew, she did NOT know how to wear her patterns”. I felt like I was living a day in the life of Charlie McDowell

  36. hellothereI'mTori! says:

    Long time reader, first time commenter. This is epic! I love love loooove this site, and reading the comments. Both never fail in making my day!

  37. Alayna says:

    …it would so suck for you if they ever decided to move.

  38. Alicia says:

    I wonder if your brothers would be as stupid as you?
    Or if they’d be the kind of people to date girls like you two.
    I’m sure it’s important to argue
    Whether or not they’d be hot,
    But if they’re as stupid as you girls,
    Looks would be all they’ve got.

  39. ChelsLynn says:

    ROFL. I love your poems Alicia.
    Thank you for posting this Charlie :) Always makes a bad day better to read your site.

  40. Madison says:

    The games we girls play…
    Do guys even do this?
    ha

  41. Grace says:

    I have found myself using the phrase “girls above me” as a noun, adjective, and verb in everyday life. even to people to have no idea what I’m talking about (lol)
    “god you are such a girls above me, you cant even name all the pokemon?!”

  42. Michelle says:

    this just made my day.
    i’m going through sorority recruitment and I hear dumb things all day every day now, but these always take the cake. (although, sorority girls don’t EAT cake, so I think you would have ended up with the cake anyways..)

  43. I don't want to go on the cart! says:

    I always get here so late…

  44. Fliss says:

    Charlie, do you read all of these comments?

  45. claire_butnotthedumbone says:

    i love TGAM but i laugh every time i see claire’s name, my name is claire and i’m not fat or TOO dumb yay breaking stereotypes! ^.^ keep up the good work charlie

  46. Anonymous Hippopotamus says:

    I’d just like to say I’ve spent the last two weeks at work reading every single post on this site (comments included). I think my supervisor is noticing that I’m not getting anything done, but this site is so awesome that I don’t really care. So when I get fired, can I come be your secretary Charlie?

  47. Hunter G. says:

    My brother looks like Orlando Bloom. :p

  48. Rachel says:

    Is it sad to say that I have previously had this argument with my friends? That argument was time well spent…

  49. Blake says:

    Dear Girls Above Me= highlight of the day. Great job, sir!

  50. Lizzy says:

    Charlie even though I have three brothers already… will you be my hypothetical brother?

  51. Good Kharma keeps the wheel turning…

    (…) My blog just hit PR2, click my source link and you will get a dofollow link there upon approval! Let’s share the Google love! (…)…

  52. This is genius! love it! ….

  53. hjgahjdg sagd sag dsajd gsja d…

    hewc eh ed ce wjf lelf ejf lewqlf lel jf…

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