Charlie covering his ears
Two annoying girls moved into the apartment above me.
I'm forced to hear every dumb thing they say.
These are my letters to them.


“She JUST won a Golden Globe, why the hell is Natalie Portman doing ads for tampons?” No Strings Attached is a movie.

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  1. Nibblez says:

    Hahahha,that made my day!XD

  2. Ashers says:

    lol typical…

  3. jshea says:

    Haha, so great. Although, I’ll admit that, imho, even the movie inspires a similar comment. At least her “portfolio” is eclectic?

    • Emily says:

      I completely agree! I keep hearing the ad for the movie every time I listen to Pandora and I am so done with it! The plot of the movie makes me roll my eyes and pray for humanity.

  4. Kayli says:

    this is trange for them…i figured they would know everything about anything that has to do with Ashton Kutcher.

  5. Kayli says:


  6. Louisa says:

    I both did a face palm and marvelled that whilst they know who won a golden globe they can’t distinguish a movie trailer from a tampon advert.

  7. Theresa says:

    Hey! I like Ashton Kutcher….

  8. Lequia says:


    (Saw your look-alike again Charlie. If you’re going to fly all the way to AZ just to walk by, at least have the decency to say HI! lol)

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      Every time I end up chickening out and then fly home. One of these days…

      • Taylor D says:

        Well when that day comes, after you say hi to Lequia in AZ you should come to Long Island and say hi to me.If you can’t find me anywhere on the Island that means I’m spending the day in the city.

      • Lequia says:

        One of these days…like tomorrow? :D I’ll be reading DGAM so you can just update from my desk.
        Then you can go visit Taylor D on Friday! *nods*

        (aaaaaaand then I woke up. :p)

      • notforyou says:

        Charlie I live in California, wouldn’t it be much easier for you to visit me?

  9. Kayli says:

    Haha me too, i was just saying that as they seem to spend a lot of their time marveling over attractive men, they should know about this film.
    sex is their forte after all, right?

    • Lequia says:

      In addition to spending their time marveling over attractive men, I assumed they watched enough TV in general that they’d know what was going on…

  10. Spinx says:

    Haha, this makes me feel intelligent xD

  11. Emily says:

    Thanks for the giggle, Charlie! :)

  12. Imogen says:

    How would a tampon even work without a string attached?

    • Hannibal Lecter says:

      *ponders* erm… you’d have to be extremely talented.

    • Alicia says:

      I was wondering the same thing! (This is when all the guys start feeling uncomfortable…)

    • Mabrey says:

      They do make stringless tampons..

      • Mit says:

        No they don’t. They make tampons without an applicator, but not without a string. If there was no string how would you get it out? Bloody up your fingers by reaching inside?! GROSS! The only thing that comes close to a “stringless tampon” would be the diva cup… But thats not a tampon.

      • Charlie McDowell says:

        Gotta love the Dear Girls Above Me message board.

      • Beccah says:

        I was gonna mention the diva cup too. Yeah, definitely not a tampon though.

    • Britt says:

      i imagine putting a tampon in without an applicator would be kinda hard..just sayin’

      • Bertie says:

        It isn’t, they have the ones where the cotton goes around your finger and you just put it in place yourself.

      • J says:

        I’ve done it. and it wasn’t the no applicator kind, the applicator just got messed up and it was the only one i had. wasn’t that hard at all.

  13. Justin says:

    pun intended

  14. ASchmalz says:

    bahahahahaha… best one yet. thank you for helping me momentarily forget about the crap-ton of snow that is falling outside that I’ll soon have to drive in… I totally needed that! my day has officially been made *mwuah*

    • Charlie McDowell says:

      Snow? Where? It’s 75 in LA today…sorry…

      • ASchmalz says:

        No fair… 14 here, 7 plus inches, and it’s still coming down outside! Oh what I wouldn’t give to be out of Missouri… But today’s post made me feel a little better, so thanks!

      • Kelly says:

        Try it being 15, and then have 26 inches of snow and 6-10 more coming tonight into tomorrow! I’m in ct, i cannot wait for it to be summer.

      • Lola says:

        I think I beat you all. I live in Canada and today it’s -40 Celcius with the windchill. I don’t even know what that is in Farenheit. Minus freaking cold.

      • unkmar says:

        -40 C is -40 F

      • Emily says:

        welcome to the east coast…I’m living up near Syracuse, NY and so far this year already we’ve gotten probably about 100 inches of snow. Boo on you and your sun! :P

  15. ally says:

    how do these girls survive?? are they living off daddy’s credit card?

  16. Icall says:


  17. andrea says:

    They do have tampons with no strings, just funny shaped cotton. I wouldn’t recommend them.

  18. Lola says:

    Alicia, please write a poem about a stringless tampon…it would make my day. Lol.

  19. Fran says:

    Are you absolutely positive that there are only TWO girls in the room above you?? Because this concentrated amount of stupidity would be less concerning were there, say… 15? girls above you..

  20. Jamie says:

    This one’s fake.

  21. Elisha says:

    Maybe people shouldn’t take it to be literal.
    Maybe then it would not seem fake.

  22. bribri says:

    jamie.. your fake.

    this seems like typical GAM!

  23. Miles says:

    HE has creative license

  24. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by alex , sgnewsfeed. sgnewsfeed said: 2011-01-19: “She JUST won a Golden Globe, why the hell is Natalie Portman doing ads for… […]

  25. Mit says:

    OH PLEASE! Such girls would be all about these sorts of relationships. They would know what NSA is. I call BS!

    They would also know about tampons, and know that would have to have a string attached.


    If you want to make this site believable, make it believable!

    • Walker says:

      SHUT UP YOU TROLL!!! If you hate this site, don’t read it!!!

    • ;P says:

      [To Mit, in case the order goes bump like it occasionally does]

      Hey, sir, you really should check your facts before you make an ass out of yourself. Tampons do not, in fact, need strings. The GAM, as any other girl, know this. Get a life and more intelligent words than just “lame.”

      • Mit says:

        Really now? Please explain to me how a stringless tampon would work then… You shove it up inside yourself, and then what? You claw at your bloody insides until it comes out? riiight…

  26. Angie says:

    I bet they thought that Natalie Portman was just really fat, too. How would the fact that Natalie is pregnant factor into doing a tampon commercial?

  27. Lock says:

    I want to try! Alicia, this is an ode to Stringless Tampons.

    Stringy things, pads with wings
    So many delicate intricate things
    These girls are obsessed with Portman’s new fling
    No Strings Attached? They’d rather see a ring

    I should probably leave these to you. Rhyming without wit seems silly. :(

  28. Reba says:

    mmmm tampons really…would have been funnier if they said i didn’t know Ashton was doing a tampon commercial lol

  29. Alicia says:

    JUST to make Lola’s day, a poem about stringless tampons…I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.

    A stringless tampon: could it be?
    Sounds gross, but maybe that’s just me.
    It’d be messy to take out,
    And it would move all about,
    It’s something I never want to see.

    Wow. That was wierd.

  30. blahblah says:

    ahhhhahahahah! that was amaaazing…

  31. name required says:

    I think some of you are taking Charlie’s commentary a little too seriously. Its not like he can read their minds, he’s just adding his humor to their dumb comments. Chill.

    Ps, this site makes me smile. :)

    • Emma says:

      Exactly. Charlie is just making a joke. It has nothing to do with the GAM’s confusion between a movie and a tampon commercial. Maybe Natalie Portman really IS in a tampon commercial (even though she’s pregnant…)

      This site makes me happy. :D

  32. Sasquatch says:

    hi im 12 wat is a tampon lol*~

  33. catherine says:

    I love you. Can we please meet up and have sexy sex?

  34. Wenderbread says:

    To all the haters: Check it out, bitches, a stringless tampon.

  35. Enjoyable piece. Thanks for communion….



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